Beautiful
by acrowdsnotworththis
Summary: Naomily fanfic. Just a story of what happened next.
1. Before the Birthday

Naomi.

Fuck. Emily. She was here, already!

I ran scooping the package up into my arms and rushing around to find a hiding place, I decided the best place was the back of my side of the wardrobe... I'd change it later, I though to myself.

"Hey, babe, I'm home!" Emily called out, I could hear the smile in her voice.

I loved her smile.

"Hey baby!" I called back, rushing down to see her.

I put my arms around her neck and pulled her into a kiss, I could feel her smiling behind it. Emily had gotten a job recently and it was really hard not having her at my side 24/7, but I the upside it did mean that I got her, her birthday present today. I got her new make up, a couple of CDs and two tickets to travel the world. I knew she had been planning a trip for us and she was at the moment trying to find the money for the tickets, little did she know, I'd been saving up for months for that very thing.

"Miss me?" She asked, playfully.

"Course! Oh, Ems, before I forget, you are taking the day off tomorrow, right? I mean it being your birthday and all, i kinda wanted to you know, spend time with my girlfriend and stuff.." I said.

"Naoms, I asked today and it's good, they said I deserved a day off anyway. I honestly can't wait for tomorrow, we haven't had a day together in ages! And seeing everyone for dinner will be lovely, especially Katie and Effy. I haven't seen those two in a while." Emily said, getting visibly happier by the second.

I looked at her and it was just one of those moments when she looked so amazingly beautiful and I realised how in love with this girl I really was. Her lips, her bright red hair, her voice and her just plain cuteness.

"I can't wait to spend the day just being with you..." I trailed off. "I really, really love you, Emily Fitch." I said, looking her in the eyes.

Emily smiled, she looked like happiness was glowing from her face. "I really, really love you too, Naomi Campbell." She said, pulling me into a kiss.

"Right, we need to get out of this house or something... How about a walk?" I suggested, I hadn't been out except to buy Emily her presents and I needed to relax a bit. Emily nodded and went up to change. I began to think about tomorrow, I had it all planned out: I would make her breakfast in bed (a hot cup of tea and big sausage sandwich), bring it up to her in bed and we'd eat and laugh and be happy for a while. Then I would bring all the breakfast shit downstairs and clean up, she'd come down after. Then we would shower together, that might have been thrown in there for me but I knew that was one of her favourite things to do. I wasn't going to give her, her presents until later in the evening before we went out to the others. She said she had wanted a day with me and my plan was to completely treat her, so after the showering I decided that a good movie was in order. Emily loved film, she adored the cinema and she once spent about a half an hour telling me how much she loves cuddling up and watching an amazing movie. So, I had bought her favourite film, candles, a bottle of wein and an endless supple of popcorn. I really had been planning this for weeks. After this I would give her, her presents and then we would get ready to go out to her birthday party. My aim of tomorrow was to show her how much I really, really loved her. I had fucked up last year, sleeping with that crazy girl. I was scared of when Ems and I had. But now I knew, what we had was love, sheer happiness and love.

"Alright honey, lets go for that walk you were talking about." Emily said as she skipped down the steps wearing ratty old tracksuit bottoms and a tshirt with a hoody over it. Even like that she looked amazing.

"Brilliant, come on then!" I smiled and took her by the hand.

We walked around our place, its a little walk way down by the lake, it's where we cycled down to when we had our first time. In the morning I was a total bitch, but we had both decided it was our little sanctuary. We never cycled down anymore, we had moved closer so it was only about a 10 minute walk down to the actual lake and then we walked along it. I took her hand, it was soft and warm as always.

"So, how was work?" I asked, Emily had been working non stop for about two weeks, including weekends! She had gotten promoted to manager in a local gym that was being run by her Dad. Even though he was the owner he was never there and it was basically up to Ems to run the whole place. After her mam and dad divorced her dad had taken to drinking and even though he had managed to set up a new gym, nothing made him feel better. I knew Ems felt shit about the whole thing but she liked working and throwing herself into things.

"Ehm, yeah, it was ok... Dad, eh, he came in for a bit.." She trailed off and she got that watery look in her eyes.

"What happened?" I asked, concerned more at the fact she was about to cry.

"He just said some things." Emily's voice completely went then and I saw tears start to trickle down her cheeks.

I put my arm around her and lead her down to the place we always sit. I tilted her head up towards me and brushed the tears off her cheek, she half smiled at me doing this.

"He started talking about us, the divorce, me and Katie and just everything.." I could hear the sadness in her voice.

"Awh, babe, what did he say?" I asked, pulling her closer to me.

"He said that me and you wouldn't last and he said all it is, is a phase and that you're just trying to hurt me and use me-" her voice cracked here. I knew when her Dad just wouldn't see that she was gay and she was in a serious relationship it hurt her. The whole family, barre Katie and James had never properly met me. Her mum told me to stay away from her and never gave us a chance. I pulled her closer.

"Ems, you know I love you and would do anything for you. I know it hurts to hear this from your dad, I'm sorry. I'm sure he'll come around to us, he does love you, you know." I told her, trying to provide whatever comfort I could.

"I know you love me and what we have is real and serious and I never want to spend my life with anyone else... But what if he won't come to our wedding? Or see our kids grow up..." She really started crying then.

Wait a minute... Our wedding?! Out kids?! I know it's terrible, but I was so happy she had just pretty much said that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me!

"He will. Oh and Ems, I want to marry you and have kids with you too... Just in case you were wondering." I said, cheering her up. "Look, if he doesn't see how amazing we are, how amazing you are, then it's his loss." I smiled down at her.

"Naoms, you only know how to cheer me up. Oh and, I'm really happy you want all of those things too." She smiled and stretched up to kiss me.

I gave her one last cuddle and said: "Right, lets head home and we can order in a nice dinner." She nodded and took my hand as we walked in a happy silence back home.

I thought about how I would really get to marry Emily and how I really wanted to. I thought about buying a ring.

* * *

Emily.

When we finally got back to the house I had calmed down. Even though it had hurt to hear my dad say things like that, I knew I loved Naomi and she loved me too. Secretly I was buzzing from the fact that she told me she would like to marry me and have kids with me. I was so happy, I really did love her. I couldn't see anything in life without her and now looking at her order take away, she looked perfect, every so ofter she'd turn and smile at me as she ordered our food. I sat there and just took her in: long legs, fucking fantastic ass, her flat stomach, perfect breasts, beautiful neck, flawless face and perfect hair. Even when she was sick or tired or both she still looked amazing. I could still sit here and look into her blue eyes and feel at home and safe. She knew me so well. I knew tomorrow would be fantastic, I'd bet anything she has the whole day planned out. She's practically more excited for it than I am. All I want is a day with my girlfriend and then dinner with the rest of the people I love.

"Sorted, it'll be about 40 minutes they said, but knowing them it'll be an hour.." She said.

"Just time for one thing.." I said grinning and pulling her into a passionate kiss.

"Fucking brilliant." Naomi said, smiling. "Hold on" she said, lifting me up. "I think the couch might be the best place nearest to us." She giggled.

I just nodded and we collapsed onto the couch.

I grabbed her t-shirt and threw it somewhere, she did the same to me. I don't know if she knew what she did to me, but sweet Christ, I just want to rip her clothes off all the fucking time. I unbuttoned her jeans pulling them off her, barely breaking contact with her lips. She pulled my ratty tracksuit bottoms off me and rolled me onto my back so as that she was on top of me. She worked her lips down along my neck, over my breasts until she was finally down at my thighs. She pulled off my underwear and started to tease me with her tongue. At first she just kissed the inside of my thighs, but then she moved into me with her tongue. I was so wet I could hardly stand her teasing me. She would start and stop, this was the best sex I'd ever had.

"Naomi, baby please, just fuck me. I'm so wet I can't take it." I moaned between sharp intakes of breath.

Finally she really moved into to, licking my clit, just the way I like it.

"Oh shit.." I moaned, I just realised that she had gotten her tongue pierced. I was in heaven.

Just as I was about to come she stopped and started fingering me instead, that made me go wild. I was moaning, barely able to stop myself from screaming until: "Awh, Oh!" I came. The best orgasm I've ever had. Naomi kissed me again, her tongue firmly in my mouth. I got on top of her. Christ, for what she just did to me, I would have to be fucking amazing.

I started but removing all of her underwear first, bra and nickers everything off. I caressed her breast in my head and bent down to gently at fist, but then firmly kiss her. I was gonna take this slow and drive her fucking crazy until she could barely take it. I moved my lips down her neck, stopping to give her a hickey.

"Shit.." She moaned.

She was wet and I hadn't even started. As I kissed down her breasts my fingers found her clit. First I just played around it, she was moaning. I started slowly moving inside her. I grabbed her leg and pushed it up and out letting me get deeper inside her, I kissed her stomach.

"Oh my god. Ems, just fuck me!" She moaned.

I kept rubbing, a little harder now. She moaned like crazy. Then I changed tactics, I started to lick her out, really hard. Getting every last inch of her, she went crazy. I felt her come but kept going until she couldn't take it anymore. Then I moved up her body again and kissed her, softly this time, before collapsing into her arms.

"Holy shit, Ems.." She said after she got her breath back. "That was...Amazing.." She giggled.

"It really, really was.." I laughed, snuggling into her.

We stayed like that for a while, just looking at each other, knowing what we had was amazing. We heard the doorbell ring and I smiled "it's our food, I'll get it." I smiled at her and threw my clothes back on before jogging out to the delivery man and paying him. It has to be said, take out does smell amazing after sex like that. I giggled to myself and put it all on a tray with cutlery and napkins and brought it into Naomi, who had managed to put a pair of nickers and a t-shirt on.

"Shit, I liked it better when you didn't have those on." I laughed.

We laughed.

We ate our food then, stuck in our own little bubble, talking about everything, laughing, happy. After our food I brought the tray back in to the kitchen and we curled up on the couch together watching old movies. After about an hour I dozed off in her arms, no better way to fall asleep if you ask me. I'm pretty sure after that she fell asleep with me because at about three in the morning I remember a groggy Naomi trying to carry me up the stairs and she whispered "happy birthday baby, I love you." As she got me into bed and wrapped her arms around me. My last thought was one of happiness.


	2. Chapter 2

Naomi.

I woke up that morning practically fucking glowing, it was my girlfriends birthday today and I was fucking ecstatic! Last night had been amazing, I've never had sex like that before, not even with Emily. But it was fan-fucking-tastic. I quietly slipped out of bed and crept downstairs to make Emily her Birthday Brekkie. I started by frying the sausages and just went from there, luckily everything timed perfectly and even the tea was ready on time. I went up stairs all of this piled on a tray and Emily pulled herself up onto her elbow. I saw a massive grin spread across her face.

"Babe.." She said. "You shouldn't have.." She said looking chuffed.

"What about you?" She asked.

"My rabbit food muesli awaits me downstairs." I laughed.

"Well run down and get it and we can have breakfast in bed together?" She said, gleefully.

"Perfect." I said witha smile before running down to get my breakfast.

By the time I made it back upstairs Emily had started on her sandwich and moved up enough so there was room for me in the bed. She looked like a little kid she was so happy, I think she really needed this TLC business with her working and dealing with her Dad. I kissed her on the forehead before scooting in beside her.

"This is fucking delicious!" She said.

"Good, it is your borthday, I wanted to make it special." I smiled at her.

"It is, babe, it really is, I haven't had a properly good Birthday in ages and this is just... Perfect." She said.

I smiled at her and gave her a big passionate kiss, trying to show her that for all of her next birthdays I wanted to be there. I wanted to make every single one of them special. Just as I'd planned we spent the next hour or two eating and talking and laughing, this was the nicest morning I'd had in ages. After a while I took the plates down and washed them, as planned Emily said she would follow me down afterwards, now it was time for a shower. Perfect.


	3. Chapter 3 Birthday, part 2

Emily.

I finally managed to make my way downstairs after breakfast in bed, it had to be said, this was the best birthday ever. All I wanted was a quiet day with my girlfriend and that was what I was getting, it was fucking amazing. I threw on a ratty t-shirt and went downstairs to find Naomi cleaning up after breakfast. I stood in the door way for a few minutes thinking. I wondered if she knew how beautiful she was, if she really knew how much I loved her. I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to tell her. She looked like a fucking Goddess even just doing the dishes, she had no make up on and her hair was messy, which was even better. That meant that she-I mean we- had to have a shower. I smiled at the thought. I decided I really did want to tell her how much I cared, I didn't really say it enough for the past while, with work and everything. I knew how much effort she had put into planning today and I needed to tell her now.

"Hey.." I smiled at her.

"Hey, beautiful." She answered.

"So look, I haven't said this often enough to you lately, but Naomi, I don't think you understand how much I loved you. I meant it yesterday when I said I wanted to marry you and have kids with you. I honestly can't imagine life without you... I need you just to live. I couldn't cope with the stuff at work and family if I didn't have you to count on. And, now I can see how much effort and love you're putting into today and I just need you to know how much I care about you, about us and out future together." I said, I had to swallow a lump in my throat halfway through, but despite my best attempts a tear had escaped, Naomi didn't seem to be having much luck either.

"Emily... I just.. I love you... I don't have the words.. I can't..." She stammered, tears of what I hopped was happiness pouring down her face.

"I think I get it: you love me too." I laughed through the tears.

She just nodded aggressively, I walked over to her and put my arms around her to drag her into a kiss, a real kiss. Not just a passing one, a kiss that truly means something. A kiss that says so much on its own. She responded, opening her mouth. We stood like that for a while, kissing and holding each other. It was lovely, her smell was intoxicating.

"I think we both need to have a shower... But there's only enough hot water for one.. Hmmmm, whatever shall we do?" I whispered into her ear, giggling a little.

"I just don't know." She grinned, dragging me towards the bathroom and pulling my clothes off on the way. Holy shit, I loved this woman, I fucking wanted this woman. I was already wet, even just with the anticipation.

"Naoms, I just fucking want you to take me!" I told her. She laughed and said "don't worry Ems, I wasn't planning on doing anything else."

When we got to that bathroom, she instinctively turned the shower on and turned back to face me, she grinned before pulling off her t-shirt, she was naked underneath except for a pair of underwear, which I slowly slip down her body to take them off with my teeth.

"Oh shit.." She murmured.

Shit like that made her go crazy, the whole dominant tease thing turned her on. I was already naked so I pushed her into the shower passionately kissing her as we went. I moved my hands all over her body, first around her perfect ass, then I moved up her back, around her shoulders, down her breasts until I was just over her pussy. I pushed her up against the wall, hot water streaming down on both of us and began to play around down there with my fingers. One first, to tease her, she moaned. Then two, just to make her really feel it, she moaned louder. I stopped for a minute and started kissing my way down her body, down her chest, around her thighs until I finally started to lick around her clit. I was making her go wild, she was pushing my head further into her, pulling at my hair and moaning loudly. I wrapped my hands around her ass and pushed myself in deeper. I could feel her about to come but I pulled out.

"What?! No Emily, keep fucking going, I'm almost there, you're driving me insane, just fucking take me!" She exclaimed.

I slowly stood up, always keeping eye contact, kissed her and then finished her off with my fingers. She came like she had come last night. Like it was a whole new level of pleasure and I was the reason for it. She opened her eyes after and just looked at me.. "Holy shit Ems, that was...Amazing."

I nodded, "your turn." I said winking at her.

"You fucking bet it is."

Naomi didn't fuck around. She grabbed the shower head and started to tease me with it. Holy shit, this girl knew her way around me. She was kissing up around my neck and shoulders and working away with the shower head. I was moaning, I couldn't control it, I was in fucking heaven. She stopped with the shower head and slotted herself into place with me so her leg was in between my thighs, she slowly moved up and down.

"Fuck... We've never done this before..." I moaned.

"Think of it as part of your birthday present." She whispered in my ear.

She kept going, this was amazing. She made me come, but she didn't stop there.

"You don't think I'm going to just leave out the fact that I got my tongue pierced do you?" She giggled.

A huge grin spread across my face.

She went down on me, the piercing made everything at least 20 times better, she needed to feel how this felt, maybe I'd get mine done. When I came again, we just kissed for a little, holding each other. Then laughing we put shampoo in each others hair and played about, it was a miracle either of us actually got our hair washed. When we got out, she wrapped me up in a towel like a little parcel and we went off to get dressed...maybe.

"So, i had this idea.." Naomi said.

"You did?" I asked.

"Yeah, well, remember a while ago you told me all about how much you love film and everything and that your favourite film of all time ever is "The Shining" because really you're a serial killer on the inside." She laughed.

"Umh, yeah I seem to recall that... Here, it's an amazing movie, I love horror.." I laughed.

"So its just the first bit of you that's sweet and innocent then, yeah?" She asked, letting her fabulously dry sense of humour in.

"Haha, bitch! Naomi.." I said moving closer. "I think we both know I'm not innocent.." I said pulling her into a kiss.

"Shit, I have to keep my pants on Ems, I have a plan!" She laughed.

"Fuck pants!" I said. "No, but seriously, what about the shining?" I asked.

"Well, just come and see.." She pulled me with her.

When we got to the living room there was a huge projector screen on one wall, a projector on the one across and there was candles lit and the couch was facing perfectly towards the screen.

"I had Cook rent this thing off his mum, we payed her and everything so we have it as long as we want, but you said you never go to see it in the cinema, so I figured I'd bring the cinema to you." She smiled.

"Oh shit, Naoms, this is too much... It's perfect... It's so sweet..." I said genuinely touched that she had remembered all of this. I think we had this conversation a couple months ago, we had gone down to the river and we were lying looking up at the stars and I started to talked about film. Now, she looked so happy that I loved it. She was so sweet.

"So, lets get started then." She said, cheerily.

She went over to set things up and I got comfy on the couch, as soon as she sat down I would of course snuggle up against her and she would hold me or I would hold her and we would sit in a blissful happiness and watch the movie.

* * *

As the movie went on, Naomi got scared. I saw her practically shit herself when she first saw the bit where the blood flows out from the elevator and into the hallway, it gushes out and covers everything in sight. She really got scared when he started to smash through the doors with the axe much later on in the movie, even though it was such an iconic scene, Naomi had never seen this movie before and trust me, it's scary. A few times, it was just so cute that I kissed her on the forehead and then on her eyelids. She loved it when I did that, it really made her feel like she was truly loved. Which, like all of us she needed. She hadn't always been this sweet, she used to call herself the "ice queen" because she would never let anyone it. But then she met me and that changed, I had to chase her for a while but it was so worth it, even after all our ups and downs, I was happy and proud to call her my girlfriend. It really was lovely to snuggle up next to her. She had put thought and effort into today and it was amazing. When the movie ended, I turned over to face her.

"Thank you." I said earnestly, looking her in the eye.

She smiled at me, this big, genuinely happy smile and said "I would do anything for you Ems, you're my true love. You're the only person I want and need. I want to do anything for you." She told me.

I curled up into her then, to show her that I felt the same. I felt so safe in her arms, like nothing could ever hurt me as long as she was here. I think we both dozed off, kind of knackered from what we did in the shower. When we woke up it was 6:00pm. Shit. Dinner was at 8:00pm. I kissed Naomi awake. She woke up with a smile.

"Baby, its 6:00 and dinners at 8:00, we kinda need to put clothes on and stuff." I laughed quietly.

"Oh fuck, clothes and presents! Shit your presents! Ok, come on, you're gonna love them!" She grinned, practically fucking bouncing off the couch and bringing me with her. I couldn't believe she'd gotten me presents as well as all this.

"Shit, there's presents too? Even after all of this?" I asked.

"Emily, you're my girlfriend, of course I fucking got presents." She grinned and pulled me upstairs.

Right sit on the bed and close your eyes and no, the present isn't more sex." She laughed. I giggled.

I heard a rustling and then after a moment she told me to open my eyes, she stood before me with 4 parcells, three of which were certainly CDs, but the other I had no idea. I grinned. Taking the first one out of the packaging, it was SAinthood-Tegan and Sara. Shit, I had wanted this for ages. A big smile erupted on my face. "thanks babes!" I smiled. The other two were CDs which brought me just as much happiness. The 4th present Naomi gave to me and said "this is the main one, I hope you like them."

I opened them and I saw two plane tickets, Virgin Airways, to travel the world. My jaw dropped, tears that I had no control over started to pour down my face. I threw my arms around her and kissed her like I would never kiss her again. I was lost for words.

"I've been saving in a separate pile for a while, I have enough funds for the whole trip, including food and accommodation. I haven't booked some of the hotels yet because I wanted to make sure you liked them and that you would be happy, because this is you're present and you're dream and it needs to be perfect." She said.

"Oh, Naomi... I don't know what to say, this is everything. We can do everything together, see everything for a year." I said through the tears. "Wait, hotels?! But we just about scrape together rent, I thought we'd stay in hostels? Shit, Naomi, how did you get that money?" I asked.

"I only have enough for 8 hotels, the rest I'm still trying to work on. I just did work for people, I helped Cook do things in his construction business, Freddie payed me a bit to repaint his shed and decorate it, JJ got me a job in that sweet shop place that he works in with Thomas... I just got the money together. Don't worry parts of it have gone towards our life, so we've had a little extra cash lately." She smiled.

"You've been doing more work? Even on top of working with your mum? Naomi... Thats... You're... I love you, so fucking much." I said.

* * *

Naomi.

Emily loved her presents, we were more loved up than ever and now it was time to go to dinner. She looked incredible in a red, body con dress. I was even more proud that she was my girlfriend. We got to the restaurant and dinner was amazing, she told people about oour trip and they were excited for us. She got more presents and special treatment. The food was great, the company was great and afterwards the two of us got ourselves home, collapsed into bed and immediately fell asleep.

The next morning we woke up to a phone call on Emily's phone, it was her Dad. "Shit, I have to answer this.." She said. I was worried, her Dad never had anything to say, her mum was worse. "Dad?... What?- Why? Why would you say that? Dad, I didn't! I love her!... Yes, LOVE, dad!...I know Katie's perfect... I'm sorry I disappoint you..." Emily had tears streaming down her face but her voice, I was sitting bolt upright in bed, waiting for the conversation to end. I heard him scream a few last insults down the phone, in a clearly drunken tone. Emily just dropped the phone and slid down the wall. Her head was in her hands and she was shaking.

"I hate him!" She screamed. "I just want him to except me! Jesus, its been almost 3 years now! How can he say this to me?" She sobbed.

I had a fair idea what he said. I just went over and held her, I let her cry, giving her whatever comfort she needed, I didn't have any words, but I had a shoulder. "Emily... How bad was it?" I asked.

"On a scale of one too ten, it was about a 100.." She said. "I suppose I should be used to it, I'm sorry Naomi, yesterday was so perfect and for today to start like this, it's a huge crash. Usually I'd be able to keep it together..." She trailed off. I held her tighter.

"It's okay to fall apart sometimes Ems, you can't always just keep it together, especially since I'll always be here for whatever you need." I reassured her. She went back to sobbing on my shoulder, she kissed my on the neck in thanks. A moment after that, Emily got another phone call, it was her dad again. He yelled more things, she just hung up.

"I can't do this anymore.." She said. "It has to end... It's too much, I feel like shit and all I can do is... Feel it." She said. Her face had just glazed over, it was blank... Was even more worried now.

"Emily, hold on, you sound like you might do something to yourself, just calm down." I said.

"Naomi, I won't do anything to myself because you're here. I couldn't leave you. But I can't take this." She said.

"What are you gonna do?" I asked.

"Something..."


	4. Chapter 4: Racing minds

Emily.

Fuck.

That's all I have to say. Holy shit fuck motherfucking Christ shit balls fuck.

I was a bit of a wreck. My mind just wouldn't shut up. It kept screaming "I CAN'T TAKE THIS!" at me. Deep breath. So, my dad had just officially told me I was a disappointment I mean this isn't the first time he's made me feel like I am, but it's the first time he's gone right out and said it. That was it, I would keep working for him, more like running his own fucking business, but he wouldn't even look at me... Or Naomi. If I'm honest, it was the fact that he hated Naomi, when all that girl was was good, I mean really. What she did for me yesterday was the nicest thing anyone had ever even thought of doing. She had just gave me a whole day of love, a whole day of making sure I knew how much she cared about me and that was all I ever wanted from anyone. But now, that glow of happiness had washed away and reality came crashing down on me: my father was a drunk who hated me and couldn't keep anything together after my mum left him. I needed to call Katie and tell her what had happened with me and Dad. It was important she knew, mostly because she was my twin and I wanted to tell her but also so as that she would know the new boundaries that had been set up. I had to call her, just as soon as I could heave my self up from being wrapped around Naomi and crying into her shoulder. "I have to ring Katie..." I murmured into Naomi's shoulder just loud enough for her to hear.

"I know, Ems. But, you can wait until you're ready.. Theres no rush." She said just as quietly back to me.

That's what I loved about Naomi, she never rushed me into anything, she knew just what to say and she would do anything to protect me and make sure I was happy, even at her own expense. I loved that she cared about me this much but the idea of her putting herself on the line for me was inconceivable, it hurt my heart a little, the idea of her being hurt at all. You see, I would put everything I had and myself on the line for her, just to keep her living and breathing and going. My life would be a waste without her, I wouldn't be able to function. If she went, I'd have to go after her. Finally, the last tear fell from my eyes and I picked my head up from her shoulder, still not letting go of her though, I kissed her on the cheek, the nose and on her two eyelids because I knew how loved that made her feel. She smiled at me, looked me in the eyes and kissed me on the mouth. There was no innuendo behind that kiss, it was just love, it was what I needed. I still didn't want to let go of her but I forced myself to detangle from her perfect form, I sat cross legged across from her.

"I think I'm gonna call Katie, I want her to know what's happened." I said, looking down at my hands. Naomi leaned forward, tilting my face upwards with her hand underneath my chin, she looked me in the eye and said "I'm here for you, whatever happens, I won't leave. I'll stay with you everywhere." She said earnestly. I turned around to get my phone off the bed and I stood with my back to her dialing Katie's number. It began to ring, after 4 rings she picked up.

"Ems!" She said cheerfully. "Hows things?" She asked.

"Um, not great..." I said, my voice trailing off. Just then I felt Naomi's arms wrap around me from behind, this was the perfect, sweetest way for her to show me support and love. I relaxed into her, immediately feeling safe again.

"Shit, what's happened? It's not stuff with Naomi is it? I mean, you two were fucking perfect last night, I've never seen you so happy." She said, her voice getting a much more sombre tone to it.

"No, no. Me and Naoms are perfect, I love her she loves me, we even had a conversation about futures and shit" my voice had just gotten noticeably happier. "But, look, Dad rang me this morning, that's what's wrong." I said. Naomi kissed the curve of my neck, shit, I loved that. I felt safe again.

"Oh.. Fuck. What did he say?" Katie asked.

"The usual, but he actually told me I was a disappointment this time... He said stuff about Naomi and I. Stuff about not wanting to be there when we get married, and not wanting to see our kids when we have them.." I said, my voice cracking. I hadn't exactly told Naomi about this and I felt her grip tighten around me as she nuzzled her face into my neck. She could tell I was crying.

"Oh, Emily... Do you really think he meant that?" She asked, I could tell she was almost crying too.

"Yes. He told me too, he kept reinforcing all of it." I said.

"Shit, look, I'll take to him and try and talk sense into him... Is there anything I can do?" She asked.

"Thanks, Katie. No, I think Im just going to cuddle up to Naomi for like a million hears and try not to think about it.." I have laughed, Naoms laughed with me.

"Katie shum." She said.

"You're talking twin?...We haven't done that in years... You've nothing to be shum for Katie, it's not you're fault."

"I know, but, Katie Shum, for not standing up for you when you first came out.. I was a cow, I love you Emsy." She said.

"Emsy shum, for expecting you to understand everything when I came out. I love you too."

"Bye Emsy." Katie said, a little smile creeping into her voice.

"Bye Katie." A little smile also creeping into mine.

I hung up then and turned to face Naomi, who I could see had tears on her face. "I'm sorry you're dad said those things, I can't imagine what that's like. I'm so sorry Ems, I'm sorry I can't fix this." She said, her voice breaking and her tears welling up.

"Naoms, its ok, its ok. Don't worry, i'm not expecting you to fix this. I just need you to do what you're doing, what you're so good at, to listen and care." I said, smiling at her and wiping off the tears on her face.

"But I hate the fact that I can see you're hurting and I can't do anything about it..." She said, not able to look me in the eye.

I pulled her into a cuddle letting her curl up to be safe, I put my mouth next to her ears and said "you're already doing everything you can, you're keeping me together. No-one else can do that for me." I pulled her head up and kissed her, a special kiss that was pure love, it was the kisses I could only have with her. When the kiss finished we stood there holding each other, until Naomi pulled me over to the bed, neither of us wanted sex right now but we both wanted each other, we both were craving each others touch. Naomi pulled the covers around us, we just held each other, kissing every so often, it was purely beautiful, just needing each other. We fell asleep and when we woke up, we were starving, too knackered to bother making breakfast we decided we would go to our favourite little cafe which was only a two minute walk away. I got up and dressed, when I opened the curtains once more I saw that it was a beautiful day: the sun was shining, a cloudless sky and it looked warm. When we were both ready we walked hand in hand down to the cafe, we were practically on a first name basis with everyone in there. We ordered what we usually got and sat together. We eventually go to really talking about our futures, I guess the phone call with my Dad had prompted it, plus the conversation we had the day before my birthday.

"So," Naomi said. "Do you really want to get married?" She asked, a massive grin spreading across her face.

"Well, yeah, if I'm getting married to you, that is." I grinned, taking her hand across the table.

"Really, seriously though? I mean, I know I want to spend my whole life with you, I know you're the only person I'll ever want to marry, but I mean..." She looked down for a minute. "Am I making a complete tit of myself, or do you feel the same?" She asked, still looking down.

"Naomi, I feel the exact same. I know there's no one else, I just love you more than anything, and that's how it is. I want to marry you and spend every day with you... It's all I want." I said, sheepishly smiling.

Naomi looked back up, the two of us just sat there like idiots grinning at each other. Having been together almost four years now, I knew I loved her, I really did. And I knew this conversation would mean that pretty soon, we would be getting married.


	5. Chapter 5

Naomi.

When I woke up I was perfectly cuddled into Emily, which was a bit weird because usually she was cuddled into me, but I wasn't exactly complaining, she was lovely and warm and once agan I was effortlessly safe. That's when I remembered what had happened last night... After we had fell asleep on the bed and had dinner we came home, it had been eventful to say the least. We were happy when we got back but then I got a text from Cook saying he was in trouble, I rushed out to see what it was. Turns out, Cook had been beaten up badly... Really badly, by some girls big brother. He'd fucked the girl a month or two ago and apparently never called her, hence the kicking the shit out of him. I couldn't stop crying when I saw him, Cook and I were best friends, I loved him. I took him to hospital and called Emily to tell her what had happened, after they stitched him up I brought him up and right now he was sleeping on our pull out couch that turns into a bed. That was why I was curled into Emily, she had comforted me for at least an hour and a half, she knew how much Cook meant to me. As I said, it was eventful.

Just then I felt Emily move, she cuddled up more to me, I snuggled into her, I knew she was awake, she knew I was awake.

"Babe, how're you feeling?" She asked, tentatively.

"Better." I said nuzzling into her. "How about you? Yesterday wasn't exactly a walk in the park for either of us..." I asked.

"Better. I've just kind of excepted it." She said, her voice didn't break and she said it surely. That's what I loved about Emily, she was so strong and smart she was able to wrap her mind around anything said to her, even when they were cruel or traumatic. She was admirable. I moved myself so I was looking into Emily's eyes.

"You're so fucking amazing. And, I'm sorry for constantly crying." I laughed at the last bit.

"Haha, babe, I'm here for you to cry too, I like helping, even if it is just with a cuddle. Oh and, you're kind of amazing too... I guess." She giggled.

"Bitch!" I laughed. Pulling her in to kiss her, it got unexpectedly passionate. I guess with all the emotions of last night, it was bound to happen, we had pretty much spent the whole time telling each other how much we loved each other and even the talk of marriage. I moan escaped Emily as I slipped my hand in between her thighs.

"Take me." She groaned.

"Not a problem." I said.

I took off her knickers and kept kissing her as my fingers did their work. God, I could feel her getting hot and sweaty, did she know how wet this made me? How much I desired her? I mean, it took everything I had most of the day not to just take her right then and now. She was just so fucking hot all the fucking time! I could feel how wet she was, I went deeper into her and she moaned. I started to kiss my way up and down her neck, still working with my fingers. She thrust into me, forcing me deeper, I used my body to do the same, she was going wild. With my free had I pinned her arms above her head and kissed her. She moaned in pleasure. I could feel her about to come her whole body tensed and she let out a scream. I kept going, bringing her to a point where she could barely take it, then I relaxed a little and let her arms go. She grabbed me and passionately kissed me. She started on me, going straight to my favourite: she started to eat me out. Fuck. This was heaven. I moaned as she worked her magic, I was so wet, when I finally came, she brought her lips up to meet mine, kissing me deeply. After that we lay there, out of breath, we looked at each other and grinned. "Fuck... That was awesome.." Ems said.

"I know, right! Morning sex is the best sex!" I laughed.

Ems giggled and cuddled into me.

"You know what Naoms, this is just heaven. Except that yesterday was a total cock up, right now in this moment, it's heaven. I love you." She said.

"I'm grinning like an idiot, just thought you should know." I laughed. "We are heaven. What we have is heaven. You fit perfectly for me Ems, you're almost literally my other half. I'm just so complete when I'm with you."

She reached up and kissed me on the nose and my two eyelids, she knew I loved that. It was so fucking sweet! We dragged ourselves out of bed and put some clothes on. I went to check on Cook. "Morning, Cookie Monster. " I said to him when I saw him. He grinned up at me.

"Morning, Naomikins." He half smiled back, he couldn't properly smile, with how badly damaged his face was.

"How's you're face feeling?" I asked.

He snorted, "it's just fucking brilliant. Ah, it's not that bad, it'll heal up fine." He said. "I'll stay for a bit of breakkie and then I'm off back home." He said.

"Cook, are you alright to be on your own? I've never seen you this hurt and you've been in your share of fights..." I asked.

"Oh, Naomikins, you worry too much. Plus you don't want me here when you're trying to shag Emilio and I'm getting in the way, do you?" He winked.

I grinned. "Right, well, I'll still check up on you!" I looked down at my feet. "Cook... Speaking of Ems... I was kind of thinking of proposing." I said, looking at my feet.  
"What?! Naomikins, that's AMAZING! Haha! That's fucking brilliant, that is! Do you have a ring yet?" He asked, clearly happy for me.

"Shh! She doesn't know yet.. Not yet, I'm gonna get one today though, so will you come with me?" I asked.

"Sure. When are you gonna do it?" He asked.

"Well, not for a week or two I guess... I have to plan it out, you know?" I said.

"Oh no, no, no. You're doing it on Saturday night, babes. On the roof of Keith's pub, it looks out over everything, it's fucking awesome. I'm not letting you put this off." He said, grinning.

"Cook, its fucking Wednesday, I'm not doing it Saturday night!" I said.

"Great sorted then, Saturday night it is! Now, cook me something!" He laughed.

I sighed, but Cook was right, if I didn't do it soon, I'd never do it. I was a mix of nerves and excitement.

**_Some time later at a jewelers with Cook and Naomi._**

**__**I stood there looking down at all of the rings. One stood out, it was small but strikingly beautiful, just like Emily. I knew it was the ring I needed to buy but I was so nervous even just looking at the things I couldn't speak so say it. Cook saw what was happening.

"Naomi, babes, calm down. Ems loves you, it'll be fine, alright?" He assured me and looked over to the bloke running the counter. "Uhm, excuse me? She wants this one." He said pointing to the right ring.

"Good choice." The bloke murmured. "Are you getting engaged?" He asked Cook. Cook laughed and I looked up to explain.

"Uhm, it's for my soon to be, hopefully, wife." I said, awkwardly laughing.

"Very good, you picked a beautiful ring." The man said smiling, completely unfazed.

"Thanks." I smiled, relaxing a little.

After we bought the ring, we went for coffee all I wanted to talk about was how I was going to propose to Emily and Cook seemed happy to listen.

"So you can get me onto Keith's roof then?" I asked him.

"Yeah, course. There'll be a table, with a decent linen table cloth and candles and flowers. Keith did it when he proposed once. Trust me, I know Keith isn't tasteful, but this will be. What're you going to say to her?" He asked. I was really happy Cook was sorting where I was going to do this.

"That sounds perfect." I smiled. "Well... I had something in mind but I don't know..." I said, unsure.

"Well, spit it out then!" he said.

I coughed. "Right yeah ok... so here goes... Emily Fitch, I have loved you since I first saw you, I think I was 12. It took me years to even build up the courage to talk to you... blah, blah, blah. You complete me, I forget the world with you, and then I pop the question..." I said.

"Please tell me you wont say "blah, blah, blah" when you're doing it?" He laughed. I laughed.

"Course not Cook! I just want the full impact for Ems, like the tears and stuff... I want it to come from the heart, I want to have a real moment with her. I don't want this to be rehearsed." I said.

"You're such a fucking good girlfriend." He said.


	6. Chapter 6: Friday Morning

**New chapter! :) Thanks for reading and for reviewing! I'll probably post another chapter now because I'm in a real writing mood and I hope you enjoy it! Please review and let me know what you think, I really love getting the feedback, good or bad! :) see you soon, acrowdsnotworththis xxx**

Emily.

From the second we got up this morning I knew there was something wrong with Naomi. She could barely string a sentence together, she was a really weird pale colour (white as a fucking sheet) and she wouldn't look me in the eye. It was like she was nervous...? Why the fuck was she nervous? I mean for Christ sake, it was Friday! It was the last day before the weekend! I was slightly worried about her and a little annoyed. She looked sick with nerves and it got even worse when she asked me if I wanted to go to Keith's tomorrow night, for a meal, just the two of us, she said she wanted to "talk to me". What the fuck did that mean?! Was she breaking up with me..? That thought sent an icy chill through my body, I couldn't bare the thought of life without Naomi, nothing would be the same. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Deep breath Emily, she's not going to break up with you, she spent last week telling you how much she loved you, it'll be fine... I'm just going to ask her what's wrong, I decided, slowly walking out of our room to find her.

"Naoms!" I called out.

"Yeah?" She replied.

"Come here... I want to ask you something." I said.

"yeah, hold on gimme a second babe!" She called down. i heard her move around a bit and then walk to where I was. "What is it?" She asked.

"Well... Since we got up this morning, you've been off.. You know, not yourself.." I trailed off. "I've been a bit worried, you look sick with nerves or something, I mean you look practically distraught or something? Did something happen to Cook? Cause you know you can tell me anything-" I was cut short by this growing smile on Naomi's lips. "What?" I asked, a little irritated.

"Ems, I'm fine." She laughed a little. "Cooks fine, I'm fine, you're fine. We're happy. I do feel a little sick though, now that you mention it." She said, clearly messing with me. "Fuck off, Campbell." I laughed. She pulled me into a loving kiss.

"God, I fucking love you, Emily." She looked into my eyes. I looked right back.\

"I love you too, Naomi Campbell, famous model..." I laughed.

"Fuck you, Emily!" She said through laughing. "I can't help it if I look this good, you know! It's a curse! You know what my secret is? DON'T GET FIT, GET FITCH!" She yelled, laughing.

It's safe to say that for about ten minutes we busted ourselves laughing at our stupidity. When we stopped we feel onto the couch in each others arms, just enjoying the moment, it was purely beautiful, just sitting there awash with happiness and this insane glow. A glow of goodness that I got from her. When I realised we still had the home cinema thing from my birthday I suggested we put it to use, I wanted to watch my other all time favourite movie that funnily enough, wasn't a horror film. It's a film called "Whip It" with Ellen Page, and yeah I know it sounds like a sex movie, but it's about roller derby and its fucking awesome. Naomi agreed, she loved it anyway. We broke out a bottle of wine and some popcorn and we sat down to watch the movie. It was lovely, me her and a movie, perfection. Naoms knew the perfect way to hold me during the whole thing, she knew how much wine I liked in my glass and when I wanted tea she knew how to brew it perfectly. The woman knew me so well it sometimes scared me, she remembered the smallest of details for the most insignificant of conversations and applied them to our every day life, it was amazing. We sat there comfortable with each other in our own little bubble... Naomi had told me once that I made the rest of the world melt around her and when we were together it was just her and I, I knew exactly what she meant, right now, it was just Naomi and I in our own world. Nothing else mattered to us but this and I loved it.

Halfway through the movie, Namos fell asleep. I managed to gently lie her down of the couch and cuddle her from behind, I pulled the blanket over us both and just enjoyed the moment. I knew Naomi had been tired for the past few weeks, she works as well, only she gets home about an hour and a half before me so she makes the dinner and everything, I knew it wasn't fair but there just wasn't time for me to do it. So, she did house work and work every day, and on the weekends she'd treat me, getting up early to make me tea, making sure I was alright. I did that for her too when I could. Then on top off all of that she had her shit with Cook getting hurt, she always worried about him. He wasn't as bad as he used to be though, at least he had gone back to prison and served his time, he was off dugs and didn't just fuck everything now. I mean, he fucked a lot of people, but not as much. Naomi was just so sweet though, when she got that phone call she practically sprinted out the door, only pausing to quickly tell me what had happened, she would do anything for him. I looked at her then, at her beautifully blonde hair, the perfect curve of her neck, her shoulders. She was pure beauty summed up in a person, for a while then I snuggled up to her. I must have dozed off a bit because next thing I knew, I felt her lips of mine and I opened my eyes.

"Nice nap?" She asked, grinning.

"Fucking, brilliant." I giggled.

Only she could wake me with a smile on my face. "Im starving, though.." I said. "I'm going to make dinner!" I exclaimed, genuinely happy I thought of the idea. "You are..?" Naomi asked, sort of shocked.

"I am! You do it every day and you work and you take care of me at weekends... We both had today off and well, I figured I should do something for you." I said smiling.

"Well, if you insist." She grinned.

Great, this was brilliant, I could do something for her. I went straight in and began to cook dinner, leaving Naomi to nap on the couch with a blanket tucked over her and the remains of my kissed on her nose and two eyelids, then one on the mouth, just for good measure.

* * *

Naomi.

While Emily was in making dinner (shock, horror!) I sat in on the couch after being tucked up nice and warm by my beautiful redhead, I though about tomorrow night. I wasn't nervous anymore, I knew it would go well and we would be happy. I was just ready for it now, I'm sure I'd be nervous tomorrow, I was nervous this morning, but it was ok. I was just gonna enjoy the evening and wait for it.

As it turned out, Emily's dinner was lovely, she'd done the table up as well, with a candle and everything, it was lovely and a bit ridiculous. The two of us were sitting there in what were basically our pyjamas eating over what looked like a really romantic dinner. Afterwards, I held her hand across the table and we just talked until like 2am when I decided that my constant, burning desire for her had to quenched. I pulled her forcefully into a kiss and I could tell she felt the same way, just then she pulled away and whispered in my ear "I'm going to make you go fucking crazy tonight, Campbell." After that we ran to our bedroom and tore each others clothes on, making passionate love, having orgasms that were unreal and then doing it all over again. She was making the world melt away for me again, it was just us, I couldn't think about anything else, I needed her, to touch her, to be with her, to know her. I could tell she was feeling the same way, we both clung to each other, loving each other more and more every second. We must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke up wrapped up in her with an excited knot in my stomach.


	7. Chapter 7: Saturday

Naomi.

I woke with a knot in my stomach and as the day went on uneasy excitement began to creep into the mix. I'd had calls and texts from the Cookie Monster all day, he was making sure I didn't fuck up and pull out at the last second. Then I got a couple of phone calls from Katie, Effy, JJ, Thomas and Panda. They all told me that Cook told them. Katie said she was happy I was "finally fucking getting around to it!" Even though Katie an I had hated each other for a while, we ended up being quite close, she knew I was here to stay so after a while we just got around to getting along with each other, she was one of my closest friends now. Effy did her usual thing of saying cryptic yet insightful things to me and wishing me luck... After Freddie had died she was never quite the same, but we loved her. She was in and out of hospital when things got bad, Anthea was a fucking angel though, she could calm her down like no one else. I think finding out that that psychopath of a shrink had killed Freddie really fucked Effy up. She had trusted him and I think it made the whole thing about ten times worse, but it was fantastic to get a phone call from her, we had laughed and joked on the phone. Effy understood me, we had gotten quite close over the years and she offered me kind words of encouragement and when she told me that she was sure that Emily would say yes I knew she wasn't wrong. JJ said the usual awkward congratulations, he cracked me up. Panda just shouted "whizzer!" down the phone at me, in between Thomas actually making sense and telling me in his usual effortlessly polite way that he was happy for me.

Cooks phone calls were more of the pep talk kind, we had made a checklist over the phone of things I needed: ring, speech, my nerves and money. It was helpful and relaxing. Ems noticed I was being weird though and had endless questions over the phone calls, I kept just putting the questions off and refusing to answer. She knew I was avoiding but I had to, i couldn't tell her anything. I poped out for a bit and went down to Keith's Cook had told me the they were setting up the table, so I went to have a look. I have to admit it was more than I expected, it was beautiful, the view was gorgeous, the table was perfect, it was tasteful and Keith promised he would just leave us be for a while. I had decided to propose after we ordered and got the food, usually we only order a main course so that was fine. It would be normal for the first while of the dinner and then once we had finished, I'd pop the question and then we'd order desert and be blissfully happy. I smiled at the notion. After Keith's I went to see my mum, I needed to tell her what I was doing. She was so happy, there's was jumping up and down and kissing me on the cheek and over all excitement, which made me feel fucking fantastic, I walked home after that, feeling great.

By the time I got back for Keith's it was time to start getting ready.

"Ems, babe, I'm gonna have a shower and get ready for a bit, yeah?" I called when I got back.

"Yeah, hold on a minute Naoms, can you come here?" She asked, sounding worried. I hurried into her, concerned. She was sitting on the couch looking upset.

"What's happened?" I asked, worried.

"You're being weird again... I feel like I'm losing you and I can't take it. The way you just left then... I feel like you're hiding, I don't know. Naomi, just tell me what's going on?" She said, I could see tear tracks on her face. I crouched down beside her and held her face in my hands.

"Emily, I went to see my mum, I hadn't seen her in a while and I wanted to talk about us to her..." I said, sheepishly. "I wanted to tell her that we were really serious... I don't know why, but I just felt like she should know..." I said. This actually wasn't a lie so I had a guilt free conscious. Emily looked a little better, but not entirely convinced.

"Are you sure? You're not...leaving me or anything?" Tears began to well in her eyes.

"Oh, god no! Emily, I couldn't leave you... I wouldn't be able to function... I need you, like a heart beat. I can't survive without seeing you." I said. She looked happier with my answer then. "Good. Because I don't think I could go on if you left me." She grumbled. I kissed her then, to make sure she knew how much I loved her, then I used the sleeve of my hoody to wipe away the tear tracks, she was smiling at me now.

"Im happy we get to go to dinner tonight." She smiled.

"Me too."

**Later.**

****Naomi.

Finally we were ready and heading out the door, we walked down to Keith's hand in hand as I tried to mask how nervous I was. It was hard to hide anything from Ems, she knew me too well, but I think I was doing ok. I couldn't afford for her to be worried. When we arrived at Keith's and he brought us up to the roof she was completely shocked, she kept grinning and smiling at me like I was the most amazing thing ever. It was a warm evening as well, so the view, the weather and the setting combined was perfect. We ordered and talked for ages until finally the meals arrived, I felt the weight of the velvet box in my pocket as I prepared to ask the woman I loved to marry me. I downed my glass of wine and took a few bites of the food to prepare. I was just too fucking nervous.

* * *

Emily.

Naomi had really gone above and beyond, I knew we were going out to dinner but I didn't know she had gone to the trouble of all this! It was fucking spectacular and the food was amazing. We were easily having a conversation with our usual ease when Naomi stopped, just as the food arrived. She downed her glass of wine and poured herself another one, then took half a bite of food before turning pale again and looking like she might throw up. I didn't say anything, we just went on talking. To be fair, whatever it was that had her looking like this didn't seem to effect how chatty she was, until she had her second glass of wine and shut up for a second. We were about 3 quarters way through the meal when she stopped me mid conversation and said "Ems, there's something I have to ask you and don't panic, it's a good thing." She was looking really nervous.

"Yeah?" I asked, smiling.

"Well it's just... Look. I've loved you from the very moment I saw you, I remember the first time I saw you when we were 12 and I remember spending a few years getting the courage to talk to you and when I did it was better than I could've imagined. Even in college, when I was scared, I had always loved you and needed you. You see Ems, you really are my lobster and I really do love you more than cheese.." I smiled at that, just then she got up and went down on one knee beside me, producing a small velvet box, I started to burst into happy tears. "Ems, I need you. You really complete me and I can't imagine a life without you.." She was crying now. "All I've ever wanted is for us to be together and happy and now we have that and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I want to have the rest of my life with you... So, Emily Fitch, will you marry me?" She asked, both of us had tears streaming down our faces.

"Yes!" I managed to croak before she kissed me passionately, her tongue in my mouth and mine in hers, this was perfect, she was so romantic. I couldn't believe this was happening! We kissed for a while before she took the ring from its box. It was a simple ring but it was beautiful, she slipped it on my finger and it was perfect. "It's beautiful.." I said.

"It is... I'm so happy you said yes." She grinned, looking a little relieved.

"Well, I was hardly gonna say no!" I laughed.

She took a deep breath and looked into my eyes, it was amazing. I loved every second of this. I was engaged now, I was going to get married for definite to Naomi Campbell, who I had loved since I was 12 as well. We had always been destined to be together and we always would be.

The night was perfect and when we got home we made love again.

Naomi lay me down on the bed and gently stripped me until i was completely naked, then she stripped herself. I couldn't believe how wet I was, it was an almost unbearable throbbing between my thighs. She used the fact the her tongue was pierced on my again, it drove me crazy. The metal and he tongue rubbing against my clit was heaven. She made me come and then kissed me. Then I went down on her, playing with her with my fingers first, kissing every last bit of her body, squeezing her perfect tits and making her nipples hard with my tongue and fingers, I was driving her so crazy she was begging me to take her. That was my intention though, I got off her and she yelled at me to come back because she couldn't take how fucking turned on she was, i laughed and reached up to the top of my wardrobe to retrieve handcuffs, I'd bought then yesterday as a surprise and this was perfect. "Holy, shit. Yes. Just fucking do it." Naomi said. I laughed.

I handcuffed her hands above her head and put one finger inside her to tease her, I could feel how wet she was, it turned me on to see her stuggle against the handcuffs. Then I started to lick her out, she went mad struggling against the cuffs and thrusting upwards so I was deeper inside her. I could feel her start to come, when she did, I undid the handcuffs and right there while I was still on top of her she started to finger me. Oh shit, this was amazing. I couldn't take it anymore seeing her naked was too much, I started to finger her as well. "Ooooh, my god!" Naomi Screamed. "I want to come with you, babe." She said through sharp intakes of breath. "Yeah, me too, fuck Naomi, this is fucking amazing, keep going!" I moaned. "Shit, i''m gonna come, come with me!" She said. That wasn't a problem, we both orgasmed at the same time, it was fucking amazing, our moans were loud. I collapsed on top of her, this was the best sex marathon we'd had in ages. We fell asleep then, knackered only to wake up every so often for more sex. I made her promise that tomorrow morning she'd use the handcuffs on me as soon as we woke up.


	8. Chapter 8: Monday Blues

**A/N: Hey everyone, I really like this chapter hope you do too! It's a bit more dramatic than previous ones, so brace yourselves! :) also, there's a possibility that this chapter might be triggering in terms of SH. Sorry guys, but I had to put that here, everyone who needs to know now knows. Love you all.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own skins, but I wish I did.**

Emily.

After this weekend I was really fucking tired. After Naomi proposed (I still can't get my head around that) we basically spent the whole weekend, ahem, in bed... I smiled to myself at the thought of what we'd done but quickly shook my head because I was in the car on the way into work and if I got distracted well, lets just say I'd have to a) turn around and go home and fuck Naomi's brains out and b) I would cause some kind of road accident. I was euphorically happy, Naomi was my Fiancee! I had the most beautiful ring in the whole entire world and on Sunday morning we somehow managed to get out of our bed to buy Naomi a ring, after that, we promptly went back to bed to celebrate. I just couldn't believe that the most beautiful women in the whole entire world had actually proposed to me... Next was the wedding and then kids... We'd need to get a proper house now though, we had a really brilliant big flat but if we were to be married and have kids we'd need a house. I could see Naomi being a mother, she'd be fucking wonderful. She would love the kid through everything, the thought of raising a child with Naomi actually brought tears to my eyes but I swallowed the lump in my throat. I took one last moment to bask in the euphoria that this weekend had created and pulled into the car park. Deep breaths, Emsy. It'll be fine. He's probably not here anyway. Just that second my phone buzzed. "Naoms" popped up on the screen, I grinned like and idiot, "Deep breaths. I figured you'd be near by now. It'll be ok... Call me and I'll break the speed limit to get you. I love you. xxx" the text read. She was just so fucking sweet! God, I was lucky.

I got myself out of the car thinking about the text and how Naomi did actually mean what she had said. Even though I had my own car, she would come get me if I was crying and couldn't drive. I walked through the doors of the gym, through the lobby, up the stairs and into my office. Since I was practically running the place no one complained when I got my own office, i was pretty much the boss, Rob Fitch had nothing to do with it. I got myself settled into my big desk chair and began going through some health and safety paper work that was on my desk, the good news was I didn't have any meetings today and I had most of the shit in my "in-tray" done and dusted, so I could go home early today! I had come in at 9:00am sharp so I could be home for about half two or three. The thought gave me some comfort. Suddenly, I heard "it's my fucking gym! I can see whoever the fuck I want!" All the air left my body, my shoulders sagged and my heart go heavy. It was my fucking Dad. Bollocks. I quickly put up all my walls of defense and closed my heart off to anyone but Naomi, this was common procedure for dealing with my Dad. I got up and walked out the door of my office, I told security it was fine and to bring him up here. I walked back into my office and sat on my chair waiting for him to come bursting through the door, filled with homophobic, anti-Naomi filled insults.

"Got yourself a fucking office, eh?!" Just as planned, he had burst through the door. "Thinking you fucking run the place, do you, Emily?" He asked or more like yelled.

"Dad, you're never here... Someone had to take over." I said calmly. Dad went quiet. "What do you want?" I asked.

"To talk to you." He slurred.

"Look, if you're going to tell me how I'm not gay and how much Naomi is corrupting me, I don't want to fucking know. I love her dad, get over it. You're perfect fucking Emily is gay. GAY AS A FUCKING WINDOW!" I yelled the last part.

"YOU'RE NOT PERFECT! FAR FUCKING FROM IT!" He yelled back. "But you are my fucking daughter." He added. That last bit caught me off guard. I was shocked.

"Dad, I love Naomi." I whispered just loud enough so he could hear.

"I know... You always have." I said, his voice wasn't slurring anymore.

"I know you think I'm a disappointment, but I'm not. I'm in a happy stable relationship, only difference is that it's with a women." I said.

"Ems, I wish you were normal." He said letting menace enter his voice.

And here I fucking was thinking this was an attempt to mend fucking bridges! All he had done was get me even ore vulnerable. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Get out. Just leave. Never ever speak to me again." I said firmly.

"Oh, I'll see you again, when you come to your fucking senses and leave that faggot, lesbian Naomi." He said.

"You might be waiting a while because IM FUCKING ENGAGED TO HER YOU FUCKING HOMOPHOBIC CUNT!" I screamed and got up. I ran at him pushing him out of the office and calling security. He was dragged off kicking and screaming.

I was in a daze. I walked back to my desk and sat down, drawing the blinds on the windows that looked out onto the lobby. I sat there and cried for a good half hour, I then scribbled down the last of the paper work, not thinking too much about it, which I knew I'd regret but I didn't care. i had to get home. Naomi was in work by now, I needed to call her and tell her what had happened, even if it was really selfish. I took my phone out and dialed her number, I knew it by heart. It rang only three times before she answered.

"Ems, hey." She answered cheerfully.

"Naoms..." My voice broke. "Fuck, I'm sorry.."

"Shit, you're crying, what the fuck happened?" She asked, concerned.

"My dad, he came in, he started to act like he wanted to mend bridges and then he just tore into me, he started saying stuff about you and then he told me he wished I was normal.." My voice broke again and I had said all of that through sniffs. "It hurts more to hear him say stuff about you.. Then I lost the plot and called him a "homophobic cunt"" I giggled a little at that. "But then I told him that we were engaged... The look on his face Naoms, it was like he had just completely lost me, it was just disappointment." I croaked.

Naomi giggled a little at the homophobic cunt bit. "Ems, I'm gonna come get you. You need someone." She said.

"No, seriously you're in work, I've my paper work done, I'm gonna drive home and sleep. I need it. I'm exhausted, you just go on about your day and when you come home, I'll have dinner ready for you, ok? And Naoms... I love you." I said.

"I love you too." She smiled. "But Ems, I can seriously just get you, I don't want you to be on your own, i just want to hold you and you know, make the pain go away a bit. I can't stand not helping and hearing you this sad." She was worried.

"No, seriously. You stay at work. I'll call if I need anything." I said.

"Fine, but seriously, I'm calling you at least once an hour." She insisted.

"Great, i can't wait!" I laughed. "Ok, i'll see you soon, bye my love." I said.

"Bye, stay safe." She said. We hung up.

Usually I would've told Naomi to come home, but I had darker things on my mind. I could feel things from when i was a teenager resurfacing and Naomi couldn't see them. I hadn't felt this depressed since then, even more depressed than when Naomi and I fell apart during our second year of college. I had drugs then, now I was off them and I needed something else to cope. I got into the car and tried to shake the thoughts from my head.

**At home.**

I was still trying to shake the thoughts from my mind. I had tried pacing, reading, sleeping and music. Nothing was working. I looked down at my wrists to see the faint outlines of scars. Naomi was the only one who knew about that dark part of my past. I shook my head again, I couldn't do this, I wouldn't do this. I would sit the urge out and try my hardest to stay calm. I knew what I would use, I knew where it was, I knew how to hide it. Fuck. Emily. Stop.

One cut couldn't hurt though, could it? I mean, I could hide it with a bracelet or a bit of make up and it'd heal in a week or two.

Emily! NO! I said to myself. I knew that it wouldn't only be one cut, there would be at least 3 others to go with that one. Maybe I should call Naomi. No, she doesn't need her insane girlfriend down the phone at her.

After about an hour of resisting, I gave in. I'm not proud. In fact, I've spent my time since crying. What the fuck have I done? What will Naomi think? I've gone and let Dad win. After all these years of having it under control it's back. I told Naomi not to come home because this is what I wanted. I'm a fucking failure, my dad's right, I'm a disappointment who spends all of her time wallowing in self pity because she wasn't strong enough just to not cut. I looked down on my wrist, 4 straight cuts ran across it. They weren't too deep, but they had bled. I think I must have spent about two or three hours crouched on the floor crying because I heard Naomi come through the door and straight into where I was crouched. I freaked out, she couldn't see this, me, like this. Fuck. Naomi's face paled, concern flooded her every feature, she dropped her back and ran over to me. I tried to hide my wrist but it was no use, I was too late, she had seen them. I could tell she was holding back tears.

"Ems... What did you do?" She asked, concerned.

_"I kissed the scars on her skin, I still think you're beautiful and I dont ever wanna lose my best friend."_

"I'm sorry, I couldn't.. I tired.. But, now.. And you and I can't... Im so sorry that your girlfriend's fuck up." I managed to get out.

_"I screamed out God you vulture, bring her back or take me with her."_

"Fiancee." She said. "My Fiancee is not a fuck up. I love my fiancee through everything and she's beautiful and I'll help her through this, it's not her fault that her father can't accept that she's gay, but because she can't bare to blame anyone and sees the good in everyone, she takes it out on herself. That's not her fault, I still love her as much as ever." Naomi said, firmly.

All I could do then was collapse into Naomi and cry, saying sorry at regular intervals, Naomi would tell me I didn't need to apologise and that she wasn't going anywhere. Naomi reached down to my wrist and despite my struggles she held it up to examine the damage I had done. She kissed them. I cannot describe how much better this made me feel. "I love you." She said. I cried harder, but for a different reason, these were tears of relief.

"Ems, don't freak out, but these look bad." She said, putting her hand over the hot cuts, cooling and soothing them.

"Naomi, they're fine, I've done worse." I immediately regretted that sentence. "Fuck, Naoms, I'm sorry, it's been years since I've done this, I meant when I was a kid," I said, urgently.

"I know, Ems, stay calm. I just hate the thought of you hurting this much." She was holding back tears again.

"I don't think they need stitches, but we have paper stitches at home and anti-septic wipes.. just led me clean them and bandage them?" She asked.

I was doubtful, I didn't deserve to be taken care of this much, I had fucked up. I just nodded after a minute, she took me up into her arms and actually carried me into the little kitchen area. Yes, my beautiful, unbelievably caring blond carried me in to help me.

_"Help, I have done it again. I have been here many times before, hurt myself again today. And the worst part is there's no one else to blame."_

For a while, we just sat there, she cleaned the cuts up, being really gentle, it still hurt a little, but it was fine. After that we sat there until finally she told me just to tell her what was really going on, she had seen me deal with my dad before and she knew that I was strong enough to get through that.

"Ems," she said. "I know that your dad isn't the only thing, is it stuff.. with us?" That hurt her.

"No!" I exclaimed. "Never fucking think that!" I practically lunged across the table and pulled her into a hug. "Never think that this is something to do with us, never. We're perfect, you're perfect. You're the only thing holding me together, you're the reason I've not done this in such a long time." I said into her shoulder, I could feel that she was crying. When I pulled away from her she tried to hide it. "Babe, you can cry.. I'm not gonna get worse if you cry, you need to cry, it's better for you.." I said, softly. She smiled a little and nodded.

"I'm just worried Ems.." She trailed off.

"Dont be." I said.

"How can I not be? I love you and there's obviously something wrong and you wont tell me.." She said, crying now.

"I will tell you! Right now, I'll tell you and we can talk about it and tomorrow we can forget about it and by the job you've done cleaning up the cuts, they'll be gone by next week! I can put a bracelet over them, you can just forget that they're there!" I said, trying to sound optimistic.

"I dont want you to hide from me, Ems. You don't have to wear the bracelet ever. Not around the house anyway, you know you can talk to me or show me anything, I'm not running away. Im staying right where I am." She said. I kissed her then, I could feel the tears running down both our cheeks.

"So tell me what's wrong."She said, pulling me fully onto her lap and carrying me over to the couch where we lay down, she held me and I told her everything.

"Naoms, you have to understand that since I came out, my parents have told me for years that I'm not gay and this is a phase and that they're disappointed in me. I mean my mother's even worse, I basically have Katie and James. I love them, but it's hard not being able to go and seem them when they're at mum and dads house and having to arrange to go somewhere. I usually just invite them here. But, it's hard feeling like you can't go to your childhood home and feel safe. This has been coming for a long time. You've stopped it, but today with my dad, it just sent me over the edge. And Katie's been having trouble too, she found out she couldn't have kids and I think it broke my heart as well. All she's ever wanted is a real family. I've been worried about her for a while. I've just felt alone when I'm at work and that's fucking stressful place, everyone looks at me like I just got "filthy lesbian" tattooed on my forehead, I only feel ok when you're with me and I'm safe. But you can't be here all the time, you have a job and a life. I'm really sick and tired of everyone looking at me like I'm a failure, they've been doing it for so long that I'm starting to feel like I am... I just couldn't take it anymore, I've had years of this. I just fucking hate it." I finished.

Silent tears were streaming down Naomi's face. She hadn't once interrupted me or tried to correct me, she had just listened.

"Ems, I'm so sorry you feel like that." She croaked. Pulling me into her. "I can take some time off and we can just talk and wrk things out with you, maybe you want to talk to someone, like a professional? If you don't that's ok, we can talk, I can help. I will help. WE can do this." She said.

For a few minutes I just breathed in Naomi. "Maybe I could talk to someone, but only if it gets worse. You can only do so much, I'm not expecting you to cure me or anything. I just need to know that I'm actually worth loving, I mean you shouldn't be doing this right now, taking care of me, i just don't deserve it and I'm scared you're going to realize this and just leave, because you're worth 10 of me.." I trailed off.

"Emily Fitch. You are worth more than what I give you.I will never leave you. Of course I should be doing this, I'm your fiancee, I want to do this." She said.

"Emily Campbell." I corrected her.

"Wha-? Oh. Yeah. Emily Campbell." Naomi smiled a smile that she only smiled at me. "I forgot, you're almost my wife." She was grinning like an idiot.

"Yup." I said, the first sign of genuine happiness creeping into me. "Can we just order in tonight, I don't think we're up to cooking." I giggled.

Naomi giggled. "Sure." She reached behind her with one arm to get the phone, never letting me go and called for Chinese ordering exactly what I wanted and a bottle of coke to go with it. After she made the call, I kissed her, she held me in her arms and we kissed like two teenagers until the food arrived. Then we ate wrapped up in blankets talking about everything. We agreed that we would both take tomorrow off, Naomi had that luxury anyway because no one really did anything on Tuesdays and it was ok for me because I had sort of finished the paper work today. We didn't once turn on the television, we stayed up and talked pretty much all night before falling asleep on the couch at about 5:00am. We had talked about everything from the cuts, to laughing about memories we had made years ago. Before we fell asleep Naomi had murmured "I love you" and I just cuddled closer to her, letting her know I loved her too.

God only knew what tomorrow would hold. I had no idea, Naoms had no idea, I just hoped it was better than today.

**A/N: I'm pretty proud of this chapter :D I know it's a little sad but something had to happen, the lyrics are from song called "Match into Water" by Pierce the Veil and the second ones are from a song called "Breathe Me" by Sia. You should listen to them, they're awesome! See you soon for another update, love you all and please review, i love the feedback! :D xxx**


	9. Chapter 9 Emotions with Naomi Campbell

**Sorry about how long it took me to put this up... I don't know how I feel about this chapter but I think I needed it as a kind of a filler, next one, I'm hoping, there'll be more Naomily action and some soppy-ness :D** **thanks for reading :) acrowdsnotworththis.**

Naomi.

For once I woke up before Emily. I slowly let my eyes open and became aware of my surroundings, "Jesus Christ" I though, "yesterday was something..." Emily was curled into me, he damaged wrist facing towards me, I looked at it, slightly unable to believe she had done it. I had known she had done this in her past, "dark days" she called them. She'd had a hard time coming out, she was basically verbally abused by every member of her family for years, that has to do something to you. I pulled her closer into me, we were still lying on the couch, but we were warm. I really didn't know what I was going to do about this whole thing, I wasn't going to make a scene or anything. We had sort of talked about this, Ems had told me to make her tell me what was wrong, I think I had done that, but today was really going to be a day of on and off crying, cuddles and kisses. Ems needed to sleep. I wasn't going to wake her, not for breakfast or tea or anything. I was going to lie here with her and let her sleep. After all I could stare at Ems for years and never get sick of her, she was just so Goddamn beautiful. Her little cute button nose, big, brown doe eyes and really red hair. She was my definition of perfect. And, it got even better, apart from being a Goddess, she was hilarious, smart, caring, sensitive and understanding. For example, when I cried last night, she didn't lash out at me for being selfish, she knew why I was crying. Even though I really did try my best to swallow the lump in my throat, listening to the person you care about more than anyone in the whole world tell you how sad they are is hard. I wanted Ems to be happy. Today we would probably decide if she wanted to see a professional or if she wanted to see how it goes. All I wanted was to hold her, forever and never ever let go. I just needed to touch her, to feel Emily to breath with Emily.

Just then, Emily stirred, briefly opening her eyes, gently kissing me and going back to sleep. I smiled, that's why I loved her, she was so cute all the fucking time. I started to think about yesterday, how long had she been on the floor like that? Curled up and crying, thinking about how much she hated herself? Why didn't I just come home? I heard how upset she was on the phone? Ugh, I was such a cunt. God, for fuck sake Naomi! Why can't you just listen!? I took a deep breath. I wasn't angry at Emily, I knew that, but I was scarred for her, not of her, I wasn't going to run away, in fact this really showed me how much I had to stay, I wanted to stay so that wasn't a problem. After about an hour of going back and forth in my head about yesterday, Ems woke up. She smiled, grimaced glanced at her wrist, and a flash of sadness came over her face, she tried to cover it up with a smile but I could read Emily really well, she couldn't hide from me. "Good morning Beautiful." I smiled. "Don't be upset, what happened, happened and we'll fix it, ok?" I told her with certainty. She just nodded, wrapping her arms around me and cuddling into my chest. "Naoms?" She murmured after a while. "I'm sorry."

"You've nothing to be sorry for." I lifted her chin up with my hand, she was crying. "Hey, no, it's ok. We're ok. Ems, we'll sort this out. Please just don't worry anymore, I'm here, you're safe, I love you, I think you're perfect and you can't deny it." I told her. She smiled at me. "Would you like breakfast cooked by your ever devoted almost wife? Or tea, brewed by your, again, ever devoted almost wife?" I asked her, lightening the mood.

"Why, I think I'd like to lie here and kiss my ever devoted almost wife for a while like a teenager and then go out to breakfast payed for by me, her ever devoted almost wife." Emily laughed, finally, I saw actually happiness light up her face. Emily glowed when she was happy, it was the most fantastic thing I had ever seen in my whole life, I pretty much lived to make her laugh. I loved seeing her light up.

"Your ever devoted almost wife agrees with everything accept the paying... Nah, actually, she's fine with it." I laughed.

"Cow." Emily laughed with me.

"Yup, but you did agree to marry me, so I guess it's not all bad." I giggled.

She just looked at me before gently getting on top of me and kissing me. "You know, I might just have to rip your clothes off, right?" I asked.

"oh no! What ever shall I do?" Emily said sarcastically as she took off the tank top she had slept in revealing a black lacey bra.

"I'm afraid, this has to come off... I just don't like it." I giggled, undoing her bra. Emily's perfect tits were there, her soft skin and beautiful torso were there again, she was incredible. I wonder if she knows how she can just get me going my brushing past me or saying something even remotely dirty.

"That's better.." Emily laughed, kissing me again.

I took off my t-shirt but I hadn't been wearing a bra, Emily grinned, mischievously. "No bra?" She inquired. "Were you planning this, Mrs. Campbell?" She laughed. "No, Mrs. Campbell were you?" I asked her. Her eyes softened at me calling her by my last name, she smiled and then said: "maybe a little." Laughing as she went. We kissed for a while before I just couldn't take it anymore. "Emily, you do realize that this is some form of sex torture, I need you to fuck me, like right now.." I whispered in her ear. Emily looked at me and grinned, "that can be arranged." She said.

Quickly I took off everything else I had on, bottoms and underwear and did the same to Emily. She went down on me first finding every last bit of me that made me go wild, then me on her and I made sure to put my tongue piercing to good use. After we were finished we lay in each others arms for a while, both of us feeling good. I could feel Emily's mood change now, she was much happier than she had been. It was good to have us together like this. After a while I pulled myself up and said I was hungry, we got dressed and headed out the door hand-in-hand for breakfast. We went to our usual place and got what we usually got and sat across from each other, one hand still intertwined and the other someone managing to get the food to our mouths. When Emily and I got into our little love bubble it took a lot for anyone to get us out again. We would just have whole conversations with our eyes and laugh with each other. I started to twist the ring on my finger, Emily saw me and said "we're getting married." I grinned back at her, "yes we are."

We began to plan our wedding, we thought about maybe a summer wedding, nothing religious or anything, the two of us hated that whole thing, we'd do the legal stuff in an office, but a ceremony was a whole different thing. We didn't want anything big, just our closest friends and family. Ems said she would tell her parents but there would be no gaurantee they would show up, she seemed far more relaxed about it now than she had been last night... And so here the moment was, the big fucking elephant in the room.

So, how're you feeling?" I asked, keeping my eyes fixed on my plate. This didn't go unnoticed.

"I'm better..." She paused. "Naomi, please look at me?" She asked. I looked up immediately into her eyes. "Better." She smiled.

"Ems..." I said taking her hand, "do you want to, I dunno, talk about it? I just want you to be ok.." I said.

"Naoms, I'm ok now, last night was just as set back, honestly, I was stupid. We've talked about it. I think I should talk to a professional now, but only for a while. I think I'll be fine, I just have to get over stuff from my past. I just want us to get past this so as we can really be married and...have kids." She said the last part with a huge grin spreading across her face.

"I'm happy you've decided to see someone...Now, adoption or what do you want to do?" I grinned right back.

Eventually we agreed we'd adopt at least one child and then have one of our own. Emily wanted to carry it, which was fine with me, I'd always wanted children, just never wanted to actually get pregnant. We walked back home after eating and talked about what we would do, Emily was knackred so it was basically arranging how many hours we could sleep in order to be able to eat and sleep that night. Once that was sorted we slept, watched movies, held each other and ate take out.

* * *

**A few weeks later.**

Emily.

Fucking therapist appointment. I glowered at my watch, I had to leave in five.

"Bye Naoms, I'm off to see the person who tells me why I'm crazy!" I laughed up to her.

"You're not crazy, but have fun!" She laughed back.

And so off I went. I didn't hate the sessions, I just wouldn't ever admit that. It was kind of horrible going for an hour twice a week to talk about how awful your teenage years were. Naomi came with me the first session, I told the therapist, Dr. Smyth, about the self harm and I swear she nearly had a fucking heart palpitation, she immediately suggested hospital but when Naomi and I basically told her to fuck off she eased up a bit. She just wanted to talk about it, she asked to see the healing cuts and I simply refused, the only people I would show them to would be Naomi and Katie. Like it had always been and I didn't exactly go around and shove it in their faces, they had to ask, a lot, before I let them see. It was just such a private thing, I didn't think they needed to see it. I hadn't done it since, I hadn't even thought about it and everything had gone back to normal since them, we were both back at work, I had told my parents about Naomi and I getting married. No surprise they didn't take it well, I don't care if I'm honest, I knew they wouldn't. The only thing that mattered was that everyone else in my family, extended family included, had been excited and were all coming. Katie nearly suffocated me with the amount of hugs she gave me. She started crying and everything! And then I had told her what happened with dad and about the cuts and about the shrink... She looked concerned but she had been there for me while we were kids so it didn't really shock her.

The whole thing was a mess though... I hated myself even more for doing it. And I couldn't get away. Everything had gone back to normal..sort of.

Now all I wanted to concentrate on was children with Naomi Campbell.

**So yeah, don't know how I feel about this chapter but please review, I love getting feedback and seriously it makes me happy on the inside :) Until next time! acrowdsnotworththis xxx**


	10. Chapter 10: Distant

**I really like this chapter, it's a bit short, but I like it :D please let me know what you think and review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own skins.**

Naomi.

**Tonight.**

"Emily! No!" I yelled through the pouring rain. "Baby, just please take a step back! Please. Don't fucking do this, I'm right here, just come back! I can just hold you or we can go somewhere! Just please take a step back!" Tears were pouring down my face.

"Naoms, I can't. I'm just so fucking lost. I dont know what to do anymore. I'm sorry. This is for the best." Emily was crying too.

"Look it's really not. Just lets talk please, just for a while! I can't let you do this, I'll come right after you and then both of us will be..." I couldn't finish my sentence.

Emily looked as if that last bit had hit her pretty hard, she stepped back and nodded, we didn't go inside, but at least she wasn't threatening to do it this very second.

"Talk." She said.

* * *

**This morning.**

Emily.

I woke up feeling shit, I ate breakfast feeling shit, I hung around the house feeling shit. I didn't want to get up this morning but Naomi, with her fucking beautiful face had made me. Just looking at her had given me the will power to get up. I knew my feeling shit wasn't going unnoticed, at first she tried to keep doing things for me, but I just wasn't in the mood, she got the message. Now, we were sitting in silence and her arms were wrapped around me. There was nothing better than that, I needed her warmth and silence to think.

"You're thinking too hard.." She murmured into my shoulder. "I can feel it."

"I'm not..." I said.

"You are... Tell me?" She asked, turing we around to face her, her brow was furrowed.

"I'm just thinking of... You know, everything had went on. I know it was a while ago, but, my head is clear enough to think about it now, properly. I need to." I said, averting my eyes from her gaze.

"Are you feeling ok, Ems?" I smiled at my nickname.

"Ehm, ok, I guess... Thinking isn't fun when it's about my fucked up-ness." I laughed, half-heartedly

"You're not fucked up." Naomi said firmly. "You had an issue, you're working through it. It doesn't make you less of a fantastic person." She said.

"Thanks, Naoms... I just can't believe I let it get the best of me and..." I paused. "Sometimes, i just don't want to do all of this anymore." I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"Emily. I wish you didn't feel like that because you're worth so much and you can't even see it, what can I do?" She asked.

"Just lets stay like this for a while. Just hold me. I feel safe here. I feel better." I said.

Naomi smiled.

"I think we can manage that." She grinned.

Naomi.

What Emily had said scarred me a little. I didn't want her to feel like she didn't want to get up in the morning... Wasn't that like wanting to di- No. I would not think that. I will save her, I will help her. I was doing what I could, sitting here holding her tight, never letting her go. I was here to protect her and love her and make her feel safe. That's all she needed. It was Saturday after all and in a few hours we'd be going to dinner with Katie. I think Ems needed some time with her twin, I think it might make her feel better, Katie had started to spend a lot of time with Effy so odds are, Effy would be there too which was fucking fantastic because next to Cook, she was my best friend.

All in all, it couldn't be so bad.

* * *

**Lunch time.**

Emily.

"Alright, lets go." I murmured. I was still feeling shit, I had even slept.

Naomi just looked at me, smiled and nodded. We walked hand in hand around for a bit before finally deciding where to eat, we didn't want to go to our usual place, we wanted to have a proper lunch, it was only 1:00pm and dinner wasn't until 8:30pm, we needed food. I forced a smile onto my face to make Naomi relax a bit, she could sense how shit I felt. She knew me too well, we could have entire conversations with just our eyes, it was fantastic. I think she could see how distant I felt. i just felt like I was falling away and no matter how hard I fought against it I couldn't get my balance again. I only felt better when Naomi literally hugged me to herself, then I felt like I was holding on and I knew that if Naomi knew that, she would never let go. But, she couldn't hold me for her whole life, I had to deal with this. I just needed to make it through today and then tomorrow would be the appointment with the shrink, she would be able to help me. Naomi could see what I was thinking, she pulled her chair next to mine and put her arms around me. Immediately a breath of relief that I didn't even know I was holding escaped me, I relaxed into her and felt safe again.

"I'm so sorry. " I said, tears welling up in my eyes.

Naomi just looked at me, she knew what I meant, but I could see she didn't think I had anything to be sorry for.

"I'll hold you forever, Emily. I'm never going to let you fall away." She said, decidedly.

The tears came then, they were unexpected, I don't know why I started to cry. All Naomi did was leave money on the table, took me by the hand and started to walk home. When we got home, I was still crying, I couldn't stop. The tears just kept coming, I was sobbing and shaking. Naomi and I lay on the couch, she held me tightly and I cried into her shoulder for at least an hour before falling into an exhausted coma, unable to do anything else. I had started to love sleep, it was the one time for a few hours I didn't feel depressed or anxious, it was just me and I knew nothing about what was going on around me, at this point it was the only peace I had. I woke up to Naomi absentmindedly playing with my hair and thinking. I was awake but I didn't move, I didn't want her to get up, I wanted her to think I was still asleep.

"Even if you're awake I won't leave. I'm staying right where you want me, Ems." She said.

Again, I was comforted. I managed to grumble out "thank you" before the tears came again. I felt Naomi digging into her pocket after about 10 minutes. She still had one arm around me, she began to dial a number, still not moving.

"Hey, yeah, Katie, it's Naomi." Pause.

"I was just wondering if you guys wouldn't mind coming over here for dinner instead, i don't think I'm that up to going out, I feel a bit sick." She winked at me. "Great! Perfect, well yeah, great. Yeah, she's ok. Just ask her yourself when you get here, yeah about 8:00 or so..." Pause. "No, nothing formal, just friends." Pause. "Yeah, I guess we are family now. " Smile. "Yeah, bye Katie." Naomi hung up.

Thank Christ. I did not want to go out tonight, I still wanted to see everyone. I breathed a sigh of relief. I murmured another "thank you" and we just lay in silence for a while, Naoms played with my hair and I clung to her, I think my life depended on it. Eventually Naomi asked if I wanted to talk about it. I nodded and for a while we sat in a quiet understanding that I would start when I could find the words.

"I feel... Distant. Like I'm falling away from everyone and becoming isolated. But, then I'm here in your arms and I feel safe again, like I'm not falling or fading away anymore. I don't know what this is, Naoms... I'm so scared." I said.

Naomi nodded. "Ems, if we need to lie like this we can, then tomorrow we can go to Dr. Smith and you can talk to her. She can actually really do something about it." Naomi said.

"Will you come with me? I don't think I can really be away from you..." I trailed off.

Naomi smiled, "of course, whatever you need."

And with that, we drifted back into our comfortable silence, just waiting until we had to start cooking. Naoms decided to make spaghetti bolognese, it was quick and easy which meant only a very limited time period spent not touching her. When she finally got up to cook, she brought me with her, wrapping my arms around her from behind and letting me hold onto her while she chopped everything she needed. She was so fucking perfect, what other girlfriend would have thought of that? Who else was amazing enough to let me do that because they cared about me so much. I looked up lovingly at the board that read "you are my lobster. I love you more than cheese." I murmured that into her ear and she immediately turned around and kissed me with so much passion, there was no sexual innuendo to the kiss, it was just love, I needed it and immediately felt better. I smiled for the first time today and was able to let go of her and sit across from where she worked. I felt like I was here again, it was better. I hoped it would at least last until tomorrow. With that, we began to talk and laugh again, just waiting for people to arrive.

* * *

**Tonight.**

Naomi.

I was worried about Emily, she wasn't herself, I was glad she was feeling visibly better and I hoped that Katie would make her feel better.

As planned, Effy and Katie turned up together. They looked at each other with so much love, I had only noticed it now, i think Emily saw it to because we glanced at each other when they walked in, hand in hand. Katie was smiling peacefully and Effy was too. They would hold a gaze for a little too long before dropping it. Emily raised her eyebrow at her twin, communicating all she needed to, Katie sort of smiled and shrugged. She didn't know what was going on, but she loved Effy. I looked at Effy and smiled, her eyes told me she loved Katie too. It was beautiful, they were in their own little perfect bubble. At dinner they sat too close together to be friends and were always touching.

"So.." Katie said, looking to Effy who nodded. "I suppose, we have something to tell you. "

Ems and I smiled knowingly. "Go on." I grinned.

"Effy and I.. Well... Oh, fuck it, I'm in love with Effy, head over fucking heals with the girl. I think she loves me too.. We've been together for about 3 months now, but we didn't tell anyone because I don't think we knew what we were doing." Katie trailed off.

"Yeah, Katiekins, I love you too." Effy smiled.

The huge grin that erupted on Katies face rivaled the sun, it was a pure happiness glow. She pulled Effy into a passionate kiss and the two of them just smiled at each other.

"Well, yeah, we kinda guessed. It's fucking awesome, you're really great together." I smiled at them.

"Yeah, and Katie, it's cool." Ems said, looking knowingly at her twin who nodded and smiled. Something flickered across Ems face, something not good. "Right, I'm going outside for a sec, hold on." She got up quickly and left.

I frowned and looked at Katie who looked concerned. After 10 minutes she was still gone, after 15 she was still gone. "Fuck it, I'm looking for her, she wasn't feeling good today, I don't want her to do anything." I said, my stomach in knots.

Katie nodded. "If you're not back in 20 minutes, we'll look for you." She nodded and took Effy by the hand.

"Thanks." i said and rushed out the door.

I checked around the flats grounds first and then legged it down the road. I knew where she was. There was a club a little down the street that had a roof you could go up on, we had been there before and Emily told me that the view was beautiful, she would go up there from time to time and sit and just look out. I had a horrible feeling she wasn't just looking out anymore. I sprinted to the club and up the outside stairs to the roof. When i got there I saw Emily, crying and standing on the ledge.

"NO!" I screamed. She whipped around.

"Emily! No!" I yelled through the pouring rain. "Baby, just please take a step back! Please. Don't fucking do this, I'm right here, just come back! I can just hold you or we can go somewhere! Just please take a step back!" Tears were pouring down my face.

"Naoms, I can't. I'm just so fucking lost. I dont know what to do anymore. I'm sorry. This is for the best." Emily was crying too.

"Look it's really not. Just lets talk please, just for a while! I can't let you do this, I'll come right after you and then both of us will be..." I couldn't finish my sentence.

Emily looked as if that last bit had hit her pretty hard, she stepped back and nodded, we didn't go inside, but at least she wasn't threatening to do it this very second.

"Talk." She said.

"Please, just stay, you just need to make it to tomorrow, I can hold you all the way there. Come on, Ems, if you're jumping off this I'm going to fucking follow you. I can't live without you... We have our life together, our wedding! Our kids and our house! You don't want to do this, please Ems, I love you so much and I don't want to watch you leave me, baby." I said, through the rain.

Emily was still crying but her voice was steady. "Naoms, I can barely get up in the mornings, you deserve a wife who can. You're better off without me, always were. If you just let me go, you can go on and find someone better." She said.

"Ems! I was never too good for you, you were too good for me! I want to help you, please Ems. I don't care if you can barely get up in the morning, I'll fucking carry you everywhere! I just need you to step down for a minute so we can talk. Please, Ems." I said.

Emily shook her head, I can't do it Naomi. I just cant. She took a step forward.

"FUCK! EMILY, NO!" I yelled and ran towards her.

**So, a bit of a cliffhanger, let me know what you think :) please review! I love reading them! Thanks for reading, acrowdsnotworththis xxx**


	11. Chapter 11: Recovery

Naomi.

I ran forward and grabbed her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her back just before she took that final fatal step. I spun her around and ran with her, still holding her until i got back to the house. I was not letting Emily go, ever, no until we were safe and inside. We got inside and I slammed the front door, spinning her around in my arms, she was violently crying. I hugged her icy cold wet skin to me in an attempt to make her feel warmer, she wrapped her arms around my neck and sobbed into my shoulder. I didn't care, I wasnt letting her go. In the mean time Katie and Effy had ran to where we were do see what was happening, Effy took one look and guessed. Effy had been through her fair amount of shit and knew exactly how Ems felt, she simply nodded and turned to Katie to explain everything. I took ems up to out room and picked out her favourite pair of Sunday-lie about clothes. She just sat on the bed sobbing, then I brought her into the shower, I stood in my underwear washing her down, putting shampoo and conditioner in her hair, it was mostly just to warm her up. We didn't speak much but she kept murmuring "sorry" under her breath and each time I assured her that it was ok, and I still loved her and that no one was mad at her. I wrapped her in a towel after the shower, drying her body and then towel drying her hair so as it would drip too much onto her clothes. I then dressed her, brushed her hair and put it up. I wrapped her oversized hoody around her and we walked downstairs, may arms around her. Katie and Effy sat on the couch, Katie was crying while Effy had silent tears running down her face and Katie wrapped in her arms. We all sat in silence for a while, Emily was still half crying into my shoulder, I was sort of numb, I couldn't believe what had just happened. If I hadn't gotten there in time would Emily be dead?

After a while Katie walked over to us and put her arms around Emily, quickly followed by Effy who put her arms around me.

"I'm so sorry." Emily chocked out.

"It's ok Ems, no one's angry at you, we just want you to be ok.." I said, everyone agreed.

That was when Effy took lead. She knelt down beside Emily and started to speak.

"I know what it's like, Ems, having the whole world collapse around you, feeling far away from everyone even when they're right beside you. Feeling so alone that no one else can possibly understand and being surprised when somebody loves you. I know what it's like to feel like death is the best solution, it's a way out, you never have to deal with anything ever again. But Emily, think of all the good things you have, look at Naomi, I think it's pretty clear she loves you and think of all the times you've had with her. I mean, I would never have fallen in love with Katie if I had ended it. I would never have found the person I will spend the rest of my life with if I had ended it. Just stay, Emily." With that, Effy looked up at Katie who was crying even harder and wrapped her arms around her. I pulled Emily closer to me and started to talk softly into her ear. I didn't want anyone else to hear what I was saying.

"Emily. I love you, we can deal with this. Just please, hold on."

"Naomi... Thank you for saving me." Was all she said.

I think all of us fell asleep on the couch, but the next morning I was woken up by my Emily, she looked up at me with a guilt ridden expression, I simply wrapped my arms around her neck and kissed her, another one of those kisses that was meant to make her feel loved. She kissed me back, I could feel the tears running down her cheeks. I pulled away and using the sleeve of my jumper I brushed away the tear tracks and looked at her, I mean really looked at her. I looked into her beautiful chocolate brown eyes, I looked at her indescribable beauty and said "I love you. I'm not going anywhere." With that she hugged me, I smelled her hair, and took her in. I looked over and Katie and Effy had been awake the whole time, both of them with massive grins on their faces.

"Fuck off." Emily laughed.

She laughed! Yes! My Emily was a little happier! A huge smile erupted on my face and I pulled her into a tight hug.

"Jesus, Naoms, are you trying to suffocate me?" She laughed again.

Oh, this was fucking fantastic! She was making jokes. My muscles relaxed a bit more then. I looked over again and Katie and Effy were in the middle of what looked like a really passionate kiss. Emily made gagging noises and Katie gave her the finger still kissing Effy. Emily and I giggled a bit before heading into the kitchen area for food, I started to make a fry, cooking the sausages first. I turned around to see Ems sitting at the table, she got up and walked over to me, I pulled her arms around me and hugged her, she put her arms around my waist and did the same.

"Thank you, Naomi Campbell, for stopping me." She said.

I smiled, tears starting to form. "I will always save you, I'll never let you jump."

We stayed in comfortable silence, until Ems sniffed away her tears and said "Naomi Campbell you're my hero!" In a mock voice, I laughed... A lot. So did she, then I pulled her into a real kiss, a kiss that was just love. She needed to feel how I felt for her. She kissed me back the same way. We must have kissed for a good few minutes because just then Effy and Katie walked in, it took me a second to notice they were there, but to be honest I didn't care, I flicked my eyes at Effy and kept kissing Emily, I wasn't pulling away just because they had walked in, emily was far more important. Ems stopped for a second and pulled away, only millimeters away from each other. "Babe, you know those two walked into the kitchen a few minutes ago.." She smiled.

"Eh, yeah, I don't really care.. I thought what we were doing was a bit more important.." I smiled back. Emily kissed me on the lips once more and pulled away to face Effy and Katie. They just smiled.

"Breakfast for everyone then, yeah?" I laughed.

**Later on, Effy and Emily have gone out to smoke, Katie and Naomi have stayed back to wash some of the mess from breakfast. They know they've about a half an hour because it's clear Emily wants to talk to Effy about her suicide attempt.**

Naomi.

"Kaite Fitch doing the dishes, I thought I would never see the day!" I laughed.

"Effy's made me, we spent most of our time together, she practically lives with me... She makes me help her." Katie laughed.

I turned to face away from the sink and turned towards Katie.

"How long have you known?" I asked, smiling.

"A while.." She smiled. Pause. "You know, I really do love her, as much as you love Emily. I've known it for about 6 months. Effy knew it too, it was just getting the courage to do something about it... But, I couldn't let her leave. She's perfect, Naomi." I have never seen Katie so genuine in my whole life. I grabbed her and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm so glad you're happy Katie.." I murmured.

"I'm so glad you saved my sister." She started to cry then, I held her. It was brief but I could tell that she was just holding back from the full blown breakdown she was going to have with Effy later.

"I'm glad I saved her too." I said.

"I've never seen her love someone so much, I don't think anyone else could have talked her down and then comforted her like you did. You carried her all the way home so she couldn't go back, didn't you?"

I nodded.

"That's fucking amazing, Naomi. You two are willing to do anything for each other, I love it. I can't wait for the wedding and the kids! Oh God, it'll be amazing!" She lit up at the thought. I smiled back.

We went back to washing up and waited for the other two to return.

**Emily and Effy come back.**

Emily.

I took the last drag of the cigarette I was sharing with Effy and walked inside to Naomi and Katie who seemed to be getting on really well throwing bubbles from the washing up liquid at each other. Effy had said simple, yet incredibly profound things out there. I felt better already, but I knew today was the day of the therapist, Naomi was going to sit in on the session and hold my hand and I had to tell Dr. Smith exactly what had happened. I wasn't looking forward to it. Naomi coming up and yanking me back from the edge had felt insane, it was good to know she cared that much, but in a sick twisted way, I wish she'd just let me jump. I shook the thoughts from my brain and went back to the conversation at hand, Naomi was sitting beside me, as if she read my mind she took my hand and looked me in the eye, telling me yet again, that she wouldn't ever let me fall. I smiled back at her and she put an arm around my shoulder, I snuggled closer to her. She smelled amazing, I was completely lost in her again, I was so happy just to be wrapped up in her arms, it was unreal. Everything about her was just so perfect, her smile, her blue eyes, they way she looked at me, she was just amazing. Every inch of her was perfectly beautiful. After a while, Katie and Effy left, they were going back to Katie's and they said they'd call in tomorrow. In a way I was glad they left, Naomi and I had about an hour before to get ready before going to therapy. I relaxed a bit, took the really shiny happy look off my face and replaced it with a more genuine smile. Naomi saw this, she got up for a second and pulled her iPod out of her pocket and slipped it into the docking station.

"What're you doing?" I asked, smiling.

"Couldn't help it when we met, I was playing hard to get. But one look and that was it.

Now it doesn't matter!"

The lyrics came through the speakers, Naomi grinned.

"Kesha, babe, really?" I laughed.

"I don't care, it describes how I feel about you, sort of, I love you more than the songs says, and it'll cheer you up. Come on, get up." Naomi ushered.

I laughed and got to my feet, Naomi started to dance, she looked insane, but I didn't care. I joined her, this was fun.

"Fell in love on accident, Now it doesn't matter. You got to me,You saw through me,

You're in for it now!" Naomi belted out the lyrics and then in came the chorus where she gabbed me and twirled we around, half laughing half singing.

"You're all I wanna do. I only wanna dance with you. Whatever I got to do. I want you to myself tonight, All right. I only wanna dance with you!" She yelled.

After the song was over, we collapsed into each other, grinning like idiots.

"Slow dance?" Naomi giggled running over to her iPod.

VCR by The XX came through the speakers, I loved this so much, it was such an amazing happy song. Perfect

"You, you used to have all the answers and you, you still have them too. And we, we live half in the day time and we, we live half at night. Watch things on VCRs with me and talk about big love, I think we're superstars, you say you think we are the best thing and you, you just know, you just do." This time it was me singing to her.

We were wrapped up in each other, swaying to the music. It was fucking amazing and so perfect. We kept dancing long after the song had ended, just keeping this moment. Everything yesterday was completely gone out of my mind, therapy was out of my mind. It was just Naomi and I in our own world and after this we would be ready to face down the whole world together.


	12. Chapter 12: Lots and lots of tears

**Sorry it's been so long! This chapter is sort of like a filler. I hope you like it, see you soon!**

Naomi.

I sighed as they walked through the doors of the building.

"Christ, I hate this place..." I murmured to Emily.

"Yeah, well, me too." Emily shot back.

Naomi turned to her, regret already flooding me.

"Oh, shit, sorry Ems..." I said.

"I know, I know, Naoms. It's ok, it' sonly an hour." Emily said turning to me.

They were in an empty hallway, it was just so fucking clinical, everything was white or grey everyone looked far too clean and well kept. There was a door at the end of the hallway, a door that led to where they were going. Emily's appointment. We walked a little further before Emily stopped them.

"Naoms, she's gonna get me to talk about what happened on the roof... I just, I don't want you to get scared or anything. I'm just... I'm so sorry, Naomi." Emily had tears welling up in her eyes.

"Oh, Ems." I said pulling her into a hug. "It's ok, I'm not going to get scared. I'm right here Emily. I'm not leaving. We're going to get through this and then we're going to get married." I smiled at Emily. "If things get bad, just remember all the cheesy singing and dancing we did earlier." I said grinning.

Emily leaned up and kissed me, she had sort of stopped crying. I pulled away and looked at her fiancee.

"I love you." I said. Hoping Emily could see how truly sincere I was. The smile that grew on Emily's lips told her she did.

"I love you too." We smiled at each other for a while and then we turned towards the door, hand in hand walking in to face what was going to be a very, very difficult hour. It was hard to believe that only yesterday, my fiancee had been on top of a building, preparing herself to jump off.

Emily.

The knot that had formed in my stomach was slowly untying itself. Any fears that Naomi might run out on me, were now gone. I took a deep breath and opened the door with my free hand.

"Emily!" Doctor Smith greeted her. "Oh, and Naomi too. Will you be sitting in on the session Naomi?" She smiled.

"Eh, yeah." Naomi said, half smiling back. I felt Naomi's grip on her hand get tighter, I didn't know if this was for support or because Naomi herself was as scarred as I was. We walked to the couch and sat across from Dr. Smith or, Helen as she had told the women to call her. We shuffled about on the couch until we were comfortable, I snuggled into Naomi as the blondes arm snaked around my waist. This was just natural for us, we were always close to each other, we always wanted to be.

"So how have things been as of late?" Helen asked, keeping the smile on her face.

We looked at each other having a silent conversation.

_"Will I tell her or do you want to?"_

_"I'll tell her, it's my stuff."_

_"I'm right here."_

_"I know."_

"Things haven't been good." I said, looking away from Naomi who squeezed my hand tighter again, this time it was definitely for support.

"Oh?" Helen asked, "what's happened?"

"Well... I... I tried... Oh, God, I'm so sorry." I stared to cry, like a fucking twat. I looked at Naomi.

_"You tell her."_

Naomi nodded at me.

"Emily tried to... Well, she tried to ehm.." Her fiancee sighed and closed her eyes together. "She tried to kill herself." I heard the words catch in Naomi's throat, Naomi looked down at her lap and she saw a tear fall, before the blonde wiped them away with her free hand.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered to her through the uncontrollable tears that were rolling down my face.

I looked at the blonde raised her eyes to her, "it's ok." Naomi said firmly.

Just then we both looked up at Helen who had a far more serious look on her face.

"Tell me about what happened, Emily." She said.

I looked at her and took a deep breath.

"Well, I had woken up feeling shit. I just felt alone. Like I was falling and nothing could stop me. The only thing that ever made me feel better was when I was with Naomi, I didn't feel like I was falling anymore. I felt better, she is the only thing that could keep me hanging on. Then Katie and Effy came over and it was fine. We found out that they're together and it's all very sweet and everything but I have never felt worse than on that night. I didn't say much, only plastering a smile on my face when needed too. I was off in my own world for most of the night, only coming back if I was in Naomi's arms. Anyway, by the end of dinner I had pretty much convinced myself that this just wasn't worth it. I couldn't take feeling that alone. I just couldn't do it anymore. I'd been feeling like that for weeks. Just not as bad, I figured that if this was how I would feel for the rest of my life it just wasn't worth it. I went for a walk then, I had walked around for a bit and I found myself on a roof top. Standing on the ledge. About to jump off. Then Naomi arrived, I don't know how long I'd been standing there for. I was about to jump off, but then i felt her arms wrap around my waist and pull me back. She carried me back home, running and didn't put me down until we were inside. I know Katie and Effy were still there. Most of it's a blur, but Naomi got we showered and dressed again." I was really, really crying now.

Naomi tightened her grip around me and held me a little closer. I didn't care that we were in the middle of my appointment, I dug my head into her shoulder and cried. Naomi's other arm wrapped around me.

"I'm, so, so sorry." I kept saying.

She kept shushing me and telling me it was ok.

After a while we looked up at Helen, who had a blank face.

"Emily, this really isn't good." Is all she said.

**So... I'm leaving you on a sort of a cliff hanger I guess? :D **

**PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! I'd really love to hear what you guys think!**


	13. Chapter 13: Shrinks

**Sorry it's been so long! Important exams this week and last week! please review!**

Naomi.

My heart sank when Helen said those words. I knew already that this was bad, but Emily and I hadn't let ourselves see, truly how bad it was. I couldn't stop myself, there were tears rolling down my cheeks and my body was racked with soundless sobs. This is kind of crying that really hurts. Emily was the same. The two of us were clutching onto each other for dear life. Emily was still muttering "sorry" into my chest at regular intervals and I was still chocking out "it's ok" into her hair. I don't think either of us could take how fucking messed up we were feeling. Honestly, it just fucking hurts.

After a solid 10 minutes of sobbing, Helen stopped us.

"It's great that you two are there for each other, I can see it in how you both hold each other at a time like this. But, Emily, you really need to talk about this. I mean, if you were anyone else I'd just put you straight into a hospital. Self harm, suicide attempts? I won't because I know you'll get worse in there. I know you won't talk to anyone if you go. It's better to keep you out here. Just talk, Emily." Helen said, firmly.

"Oh fuck..." Emily murmured looking up at me.

"Talk, Ems... Please." I sad only loud enough for her to hear.

She nodded and turned towards Helen.

"I just feel so shit... And all I can fucking do is feel it. I just want it to be ok again. I don't even know what it is anymore..." Emily trailed off.

This was breaking my heart but I needed to be here for her, it wasn't like I was going anywhere anyway.

"Im scared. I'm scared that Katie might turn on me even though she's with Effy now, I'm scared that my Dad will drink himself further into oblivion, I'm scared that my mother might follow... But, mostly, I'm scared that Naomi, the only person I will ever love this much will leave me. She'll leave me because I'm sad and she can't take listening to me anymore, or she'll leave me because she realises that she's far, far too good for me. If she leaves me, I can't live without her. That's a promise." Emily's voice was very quiet and she was looking straight ahead, not really looking at anyone, just into the distance.

I turned towards her, mouth wide open, a little lost for words. I turned her head towards mine and forced her to look at me.

"I will never leave you, Emily Fitch. Why can't you see that you're the one that's too good for me?" I asked, tears clouding my vision. "Emily, I love you. I'm spending the rest of my life with you, remember? I'm the one who proposed." I said, looking her straight in the eye.

She looked at me and I mean really looked at me, truly taking me in and I hoped she could see how sincere I was, I really did. She leaned in closer to me and kissed me. There was no innuendo to the kiss, it was just love, a reassurance and a hope. It was just fucking beautiful. She pulled away and put her lips as close to my ear as she could get them, she said: "I love you."

I said it back and we turned, hand in hand, back to Helen who was smiling a little.

"This, this is good." She said.

The rest of the session was spent by Emily telling us about being a teenager and growing up with her parents never really excepting her. Helen told her what to do if/when she ever felt suicidal again. I think Emily was past it though, she was so strong. She just kept going and I admired her so much for it. By now, her cuts had healed and the scars were beginning to fade. By the end of the session I think we were both feeling better and we decided to call Katie and Effy to go to lunch.

* * *

Emily.

"Yes, Katie I'm fine. Yes. No. Yes, Naomi was there. Yeah... No! Oh God Katie please don't tell them... What do you mean you have to? It's my fucking business... Ok. Fine. Yeah, perfect. Yeah, in like... Ten minutes? Ok, sweet. Yeah, bye." I hung up.

Jesus Christ my sister was something else, she wanted to tell mam and dad about me? Hah, I think not thank you very much. I have had enough of their shit, they'd just tell me it was because I'm gay that I tried to off myself.

"Katie wants to fucking tell my mam and dad about what happened!" I said incredulously to Naomi.

Naomi sniggered, she was so cute. "Because that's a great idea." She laughed.

I laughed too.

"She agreed not too in the end... But, Christ? What the fuck was she thinking?" I muttered to Naomi.

"Ems, she's worried, don't worry, yeah? We're gonna see them any minute now." Naomi smiled at me.

Finally we got to the cafe and as we walked in Effy and Katie were in the middle of a kiss, I cannot describe how fucking awkward yet entirely cute that is. I coughed loudly, I actually saw Katie smile! I knew she knew I was there, Effy smiled too, after another moment they broke apart, grinning like loved up idiots. I sighed and slumped down, Naoms sat beside me taking my hand. She turned my head to face hers, looked into my eyes and smiled. Fuck, I was lost in those beautiful oceans that were her eyes. She kissed me, gentle at first, but I deepened it. I knew what she was doing, she was showing them what love looked like, what our love looked like. What knowing we're going to be together for the rest of our lives looked like. I smiled against her lips. "Kiss me." I murmured against them.

This time it was Katie's turn to cough, after another moment Naomi broke the kiss, looked into my eyes, they had a beautiful mischievous glint to them, I couldn't help but smile. We finally broke eye contact, I looked at Katie and cocked an eyebrow as if to say "I think i just won" she looked at me and grinned. I dont think wither of us could quite believe that we had just kissed our girlfriends in public trying to beat each other in who loved their girlfriend more. It made me so happy. I sighed a happy sigh and we all settled into happy, light conversation. Eventually we got to talking about what had happened the night before. I couldn't believe that it was only the night before. I explained to both of them what had happend. I genuinely felt a lot better now, I was seeing what I would miss if I left them. I ended that conversation with:

"I've realised all I have to live for" I said gesturing all around the table. "I love you people, I'm staying right fucking here because I don't want to miss a second of how insane you are."


	14. Chapter 14: Cheese and Lobsters

Naomi.

Ugh just fuck off. I thought, I was just so fucking tired. I had, had the shittiest day at work possible, my boos realised I was gay and started to abuse me, he'd just pissed because he can't hit on me anymore. I had to just stand there and take it, not in true Naomi Campbell style at all. Em's and I needed the money right now, so I had to keep my job. In the end, my boss had just told me never to bring my "dirty dyke of a girlfriend" into his presence. At that point I was pretty sure I was gonna hurt him, not because he was being homophobic but because he had insulted Emily. No one fucking insulted Emily, my fucking fiancee!

Deep breaths Naomi, deep breaths.

I stormed in the door of our house, Ems had the day off from the gym, she sat at the kitchen table reading the paper. I slammed the door behind me, more a product of my mood than anything else. I leaned back against the door and closed my eyes, tilting my neck up. Christ. I just wanted to sleep or cry. I didn't want to talk about it. I hated this feeling of helplessness and now I was going to be treated like shit by my boss at work. I sighed, dumped my bag in the hall and walked into the kitchen. Emily was already looking at me with concern etched in her face, she clutched a cup of coffee to her chest. I slumped down on the chair across from her, she slid her coffee over to me. I just looked at it, I didn't want anything.

"Naoms?" Ems asked quietly.

Oh god. I was going to cry. Fuck sake Naomi! You pick the stupidest things to cry over. Fucking brilliant.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and just shook my head at Emily, trying not to look her in the eye. I didn't want her to worry.

"Naoms, Naomi. Just look at me. Come on, I know you're upset, you can't hide it from me. You're my fiancee. I know you, Naomi." Emily was soft but assertive.

I glanced up at her, in that moment I just let go, I couldn't do bottling it up in true Campbell style right now, everything that had happened, how tired I was, my boss was just the final straw. I just started to cry, my shoulders shook until my body was too physically tired to keep producing the violent sobs, now just silent tears ran down my face in a continuous stream. Emily had immediately gotten up, pulled her chair over and wrapped me up in her arms. I loved hte comfort she gave me.

"Naoms, please tell me what's wrong?" Emily asked.

I took a deep breath before I spoke to steady my voice a bit.

"I'm just so tired Ems... My boss is an arsehole and... I'm exhausted. And yesterday my phone fucked itself up and crashed and it wont turn on and it's all the little things and I know its stupid, but I'm so tired... God, I'm so fucking pathetic." I murmured, realising that I sounded like a complete fucking twat. I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes, mentally hitting myself for being such an idiot.

Emily pulled me up to look at her, I could barely manage the eye contact.

"Naomi Campbell, you are not pathetic, you're tired and emotional. So shut up and don't call the woman I'm about to marry pathetic." She said sternly.

I smiled at that. It was true, next week was the wedding. All the weeks of planning since the meeting with her shrink had finally paid off. I collapsed back into Emily and just stayed there. Eventually Emily somehow managed to lift me up and bring me up to bed, she stripped me down to my underwear and tucked me under the covers. She then stripped herself down and wriggled in beside me, stroking my hair.

"Sleep, my love. I'll be right here when you wake up." She said softly.

I smiled and let sleep take over, enjoying the feeling of Emily right next to me.

LATER.

When I woke up it was dark outside, I could still feel Emily beside me, I must have been asleep for hours and she still hadn't left my side. God she was amazing. I snuggled back into her arms and let out a small smile.

"Hello, Naoms." She said softly. "Welcome back."

"Ems..." I turned to her, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "Did you stal like that the whole time?" I asked.

"Well, yeah." She giggled. "I did tell you I'd be here when you woke up, I wasn't going to just fuck off after you fell asleep, now was I?" She smiled at me.

"You didn't have to Ems... But, thank you." I smiled at her, my eyes looking deep into hers.

Emily pulled me into her arms for a proper cuddle.

"Naoms, I'm never going anywhere, you were upset, I wasn't going to leave your side until I knew you were ok." She whispered into my ear.

I just smiled and snuggled in closer to her, after a while I suggested dinner. We got up and pulled ourselves into the kitchen, all we had was cheese and bread.

"Cheese toasties?" I grinned at her.

"Hell yes." She grinned back.

We went about making them, Emily stook the kettle on for tea as well, even though it was going to be a simple meal it was going to be a really great one. When we finished making them we sat down across from each other on the table I took a bite of mine, it was great.

Emily tried to mumble something through a huge mouthful of toastie, I giggled.

"Sorry Em, what did you say?" I giggled at her.

"I love you more than cheese." She said, laughing now.

I smiled at her, it was moments like these that made me love her more.

"Yeah, and you're my lobster Em..." I trailed off. "Emily, I love you." I looked deep into her eyes.

"I know." She said, nodding. "I love you too."

"Just never forget that yeah?" I said, tears stinging my eyes.

Emily nodded furiously and I could see her eyes become flooded with tears. We looked at each other for a long time. Emily slowly got up and walked around to my side of the table, she sat on my lap, wrapping her legs around my hips. We kissed passionately and I carried her, still in that same position up to the bedroom.

**Next chapter I promise will have some actual plot line :D**

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	15. Chapter 15: Day of Decisions

**Im so sorry for the delay. I've had exams so I couldn't write! I hope this one was worth the wait, I suspect I'll be finishing this one up in the next chapter, thanks for the reviews and favourites/follows! :)**

Emily.

I woke up and already I felt happy, I could feel Naomi's warmth next to me and I snuggled in closer to her. Last night had been the first time in weeks we had really made love, it wasnt just sex that time, it meant a lot. It was Saturday and on Sunday I was getting married. A huge grin erupted onto my face. Today and tomorrow were going to be insane, planning, final details and Katie was going to tell Mum about Effy. I couldn't wait for that, for dear old mum to find out that both of her daughters are gay, wait, was Katie gay? Or was she just in love with Effy? To be honest, I don't think Katie and Effy will truly ever not love each other. They have the same thing as Naomi and I have, it's just love, pure and simple. With the events of the last few weeks, it's really shown me how much Naomi loves me, I'm happy about that because a part of me was afraid that I cared about her far more than she ever cared about me. How could I have been so wrong? Keeping that thought in my mind I rolled over to face my girlfr-Wife, who was still fast asleep. This had just become my morning routine at this point: I would turn over and watch her sleep for a few moments or maybe until she woke up or if I needed to I would wake her up with a kiss. The only way to wake Naomi up happy was with a kiss, no other way would work, she could be a right wanker in the morning, but never when I woke her up like that. Today we were going to need an early start, I opted for the kiss. Leaning in close to her, I took a deep breath, taking in her amazing smell and I kissed her gently and then more passionately as I felt a response. I pulled away when I knew she was well and truly awake.

"Well good morning to you too." Naoms murmured happily.

I grinned at her.

"We're getting married tomorrow." My voice was filled with quiet excitement.

"Yes, we are my love." Naomi looked blissful, her smile was big and contented. "I can't believe it, I'm just so happy, Ems." She said.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug.

"You do realise that as soon as we get up we have to go and do the family thing and Naoms, you're mum is going to be more excited than the both of us put together." I giggled.

"Oh Jesus Christ... My mum is going to be here today..." Naomi moaned.

And just at that moment, Gina burst through our bedroom door.

"Good morning girls! How are we today? Excited I presume! Oh this is just fan-fucking-tastic, you know that? Emily dear, I didn't think Naomi here would ever get married." Gina smiled ecstatically at me.

Naomi scrambled around in our bed trying to deal with what had just happened.

"Jesus fucking christ mum! Do you insist on barging in?!" Naomi yelled incredulously.

Gina just smiled, God that woman was impressive.

"Well, today is the last day before you two are married, I'll leave you two too it then." She said cheerily walking out and closing the door behind her.

I started to giggle, Naoms was in a huff on the other side of the bed in a huff, she looked adorable when she was that kind of annoyed. I snuggled up to her wrapping my arms around her waist and I felt her relax down into my embrace, I glanced at the clock, we still had at least an hour of sleep left and all I wanted to do was to be with her, just hold her and kiss her sometimes, her warmth was my heaven and I wasn't about to let her go. I think she got the message because she slid down so as we were at eye level and kissed me, gently, slowly and filled with love. I loved moments like these, I loved her. When we pulled away we looked at each other, the both of us feeling truly happy for the first time in a while. I sighed.

"Well, let's get our arses in gear then shall we?" I said happily.

"Christ..." Naomi moaned and flopped back onto her pillow.

I hoped out of bed and pulled her up.

"Campbell, today you're going to be cheerful and helpful because today we are facing my mother, who, later on, is going to find out she has two gay daughters." I said.

Naomi just looked at me and grinned.

"We're a bit fucked aren't we."

* * *

**LATER. Emily.**

"Katie, you don't have to tell her right away you know.."

Katie and Effy were attatched to each other, they hadn't let go of each others hands throughout the entire conversation.

"But, I want to Ems... I just don't know how." Katie murmured, looking over at Effy. They had one of those mind-reading-conversations that Naoms and I have, I'm amazed to see that they have that strong of a connection.

"Right, it's ok. You did it Emsy, so I can do it." Katie said definitely.

"And I'll be with her, you and me Emily, we'll be there when she tells her, ok?" Effy said, her blue eyes boring into mine.

"Yeah, course." I said, looking straight back at Effy.

Katie, went to walk out the door, what the hell was she doing? Effy just looked at me and gestured for me to follow, maybe Katie had heard something? Once we got to the front door it was clear what had happened. Katie had heard a car pull up, none other than out own lovely mother stepped out of the car. Christ, this was going to be awful. Two daughters gay, and her precious little Katie as well? Fuck, I mean, Jenna Fitch had never really liked me so when I came out the dislike just turned to hate. Apart from my shit a few weeks ago, I had never let it get to me, but then again that was Dad. Dad had pushed me over the edge that time, he had always seemed to be just fine with me and Naomi and then he started drinking and he attacked me in the one way he knew it would hurt.

"You ready for this Katie?" I asked her.

"Not really, but fuck it, as soon as she gets in here, I'm telling her."

She glanced at Effy who instinctively moved closer to her, it was weird seeing the two of them so far apart in a way, usually they were holding hands or holding each other, with this easy intimacy about them, now they were barely even touching but they still had a connection that you could feel in the next room. Just then mam walked through the door, she barely registered I was there even though I was getting married tomorrow.

"Katie! It's been so long! Effy! How are you? So good to see you girls." She smiled and hugged them both.

Oh sweet irony.

"Mum, I have something to tell you..." Katie said, she was a really horrible pale colour and she looked nervous as fuck, Effy moved closer to her and they looked at each other for a second.

"Mum.. Effy and I, well, we're together..." She looked at the floor. Mum stared blankly at her.

"What do you mean?" Mum asked.

"Mum, I'm.. I'm gay. I'm with Effy and... I love her." Katie looked straight at mum, she wasn't backing down.

"No, Katie, you're not! It's Emily and that disgusting Naomi girl corrupting you!" Mum yelled.

No one insulted Naoms.

"Don't say that mum!" I yelled. "I'm fucking getting married to her tomorrow! I love her, and for the fucking record I was the one to start the fucking relationship! I was born gay, Naomi didn't make me gay, i love her. Open you're fucking eyes and realise that your daughters are gay and happy and in love. If you cant be happy for us than there's something wrong with you not us." I said, I wasn't backing down either.

Mum just looked at us and then to Effy. Effy stood up and in her very calm way said "Mrs. Fitch, I know you don't like it, and now you probably don't like me but it is what it is, I love Katie. I think I make her happy and she makes me happy. I won't have you making her life a misery just because she loves me and I love her. I'm afraid I just can't have that, I couldn't deal with that... Seeing her as upset as you made Emily over the years." She glanced at me. "Maybe one day you can come to terms with it, it's either that or you'll lose both of them forever."

Mum looked shocked, she was just staring at Effy. Katie grabbed Effy's hand and held onto it tightly.

"She's right mum" I said quietly. "You don't even know how unhappy I've been in recent months, most of it has had something to do with the fact that you dont accept me and that Dad's a drunk. You don't know how you made me feel when I was younger. I hated myself and at some points started to believe they things you would say to me about me being "worthless" and "disgusting". If it wasn't for Naomi I might not still be alive today. I love her, if you can't accept that you aren't coming to the wedding tomorrow and you aren't going to get to see me on the happiest day of my life because I don't want you to make me any less happy that I could be. You have to decide." I said, my voice was clear and calm and I looked her in the eye.

"I'm with Ems on this one, Mum. You have to decide." Katie said, her and Effy moving closer to me.

Naomi, who had been standing somewhat in the background during this could sense that even though I looked and sounded calm, this whole thing was taking its toll on me. She moved closer to me, taking my hand, I looked up at her and smiled. Her eyes were telling me to stay strong, to keep going. I looked over at Mum for her decision.

"Well, I love you girls. But, this is not who you are. You will come to your senses soon and when that day comes I'll be waiting. But I guess I won't be there tomorrow." She spoke without a hint of emotion in her voice.

I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, I could see it all over Katie's face as well, she and Mum had always been quite close, this must be killing her. Naomi slid a hand around my waste and held me tightly, good thing too, I felt like I might collapse onto the ground.

"That day won't come." I said to her, my voice was weaker now.

She just simply looked at me and walked out of my front door.

Holy shit. I just stood up to my mother.


End file.
